GREAT WALL IT’S THE TIPTON! OF
“Welcome to the 8th Wonder of the West Midlands!” Hugo Guthrie, Tourism Chief
TIPTON Town Council has given the green light to an ambitious building project that is set to put the West Midlands town on the map … a 14,000-mile-long wall. It is hoped that the massive, 40-foot-high stone structure will attract visitors from as far afield as Wolverhampton, Warley and Tettenhall. Tourist boss Hugo Guthrie told local paper the Tipton and Sandwell Meatus: “The wall will begin at the corner of Victoria Road and Mayfair Gardens, and run roughly north west for roughly 14,000 miles. Just like its famous Chinese counterpart, the Great Wall of Tipton will be visible from the Moon. It’s something that will put the town firmly on the map and give all Tiptonians something to be proud of,” he continued. “Once it is up and running, we have high hopes that our Great Wall will push Dudley Leather Museum off the coveted number one spot on the list of Things to Do in Tipton.”
Mr Guthrie is confident that the project will bring in much-needed revenue to the town. “Tickets will be £1.50 for adults and 75p for children and pensioners,” he told the paper. “There will even be a gift shop at the exit 14,000 miles away, where visitors can buy a souvenir of their day out, such as a pencil sharpener, a leatherette bookmark or a fridge magnet bearing the Tipton town crest.”
“I have no doubt that the Great Wall of Tipton will pay for itself within a few months of opening,” said Mr Guthrie.
erecting
The task of erecting the immense fortification has been given to local builder Stan O’Reilly, who quoted £450 cash for the job, which he reckons will take him and Wall I never!: An artist’s impression of how Tipton’s Great Wall might look if finished. his lad about six weeks. Mr O’Reilly has already dropped a mixer and four bags of Blue Circle cement off at the site. Mr Guthrie said: “He was supposed to start last Monday, but unfortunately his plans have been unexpectedly delayed due to his mother being diagnosed with cancer.”
“He’s having to take her for her appointments in his van,” said Mr Guthrie. “But he says he’ll definitely be starting next Tuesday or Wednesday, if the weather’s alright.”