NO THANK YOU FOR THE MUSIC

Abba’s least enthusiastic fan ‘indifferent to comeback’

APENRITH garage mechanic who has been dubbed “Abba’s least enthusiastic fan” yesterday announced that he was “not really fussed one way or the other” at the announcement that the band have recorded two brand new songs. And dad-of-three Gary Fairbrass, 56, went on to say that he “couldn’t give a toss” that the seventies Swedish supergroup were planning a stadium tour in 3-D hologram form. Speaking to colleagues at the exhaust centre where he works, Fairbrass said that he supposed some of Abba’s songs were alright, but to be honest, he hadn’t really given the group a lot of thought since the late 1970s.

Fairbrass has not dedicated a room of his house to his Abba collection, which consists of a double-LP “Bestof” collection that he bought at a car boot sale in the late 1990s. “I don’t even know where it is. It’s probably in the loft or in a box in the garage somewhere,” the not-Abba-bonkers mechanic said. “I’ve got nothing to play it on anyway.”

Fairbrass: Disinterested in ABBA news, yesterday.

Speaking to her hairdresser, Gary’s not-long-suffering wife Janine, 52, confirmed that her un-Abba-mad hubby’s non-obsession had not come between them even to the extent of not threatening their marriage. “It’s not Abba-this and not Abba-that, not twenty-four hours a day,” she said.

“In fact, to tell you the truth, I can’t remember the subject of Abba coming up in the thirty years we’ve been together,” she added.