MID­NIGHT SCAMBLER

OF­COM warns of Stones gig mail fraud

VIZ - - Mr. Logic -

THE gov­ern­ment’s Com­mu­ni­ca­tions watch­dog to­day is­sued a warn­ing to all vul­ner­a­ble and lonely pen­sion­ers to be wary of of­fers they re­ceive in the post promis­ing a free Rolling Stones con­cert in their liv­ing room, call­ing it noth­ing more than a “Street Fightin’ Scam”. The body ad­vised el­derly con­sumers against re­spond­ing to a let­ter promis­ing “All the Fun of Al­ta­mont - In Your Own Home!” The mail­shot di­rects aged vic­tims to call a pre­mium rate phone line in or­der to set up a date for the gig and select songs for the setlist. It even pur­ports to grant ex­clu­sive ac­cess “back­stage” in their own kitchens in or­der to “hang out”, snort drugs and cop­u­late with groupies and mem­bers of the vet­eran rock band.

blow

“I was re­ally quite look­ing for­ward to hear­ing the rarely played Beg­gar’s Ban­quet track

Para­chute Woman and then cop­ping off with Ron­nie, Keith, and a big pile of blow,” sighed re­tired civil ser­vant Edna Scalpels, 78, of Llan­dudno.

“Now it seems it was all a cruel hoax and I’m out of pocket nearly 700 nicker.”

A spokesman for Mick Jag­ger said that the Stones front­man was un­aware of the scam. “As a pen­sioner him­self, Sir Mick’s heart goes out to any el­derly folk who have lost money to these heart­less fraud­sters,” he said.

Au­thor­i­ties were at pains to point out that, although a sim­i­lar of­fer from Rob­bie Wil­liams is in­deed gen­uine, they were like­wise still ad­vis­ing the public not to re­spond.

Stones: You Can’t Ever Get What You Want!

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