OFCOM warns of Stones gig mail fraud
THE government’s Communications watchdog today issued a warning to all vulnerable and lonely pensioners to be wary of offers they receive in the post promising a free Rolling Stones concert in their living room, calling it nothing more than a “Street Fightin’ Scam”. The body advised elderly consumers against responding to a letter promising “All the Fun of Altamont - In Your Own Home!” The mailshot directs aged victims to call a premium rate phone line in order to set up a date for the gig and select songs for the setlist. It even purports to grant exclusive access “backstage” in their own kitchens in order to “hang out”, snort drugs and copulate with groupies and members of the veteran rock band.
“I was really quite looking forward to hearing the rarely played Beggar’s Banquet track
Parachute Woman and then copping off with Ronnie, Keith, and a big pile of blow,” sighed retired civil servant Edna Scalpels, 78, of Llandudno.
“Now it seems it was all a cruel hoax and I’m out of pocket nearly 700 nicker.”
A spokesman for Mick Jagger said that the Stones frontman was unaware of the scam. “As a pensioner himself, Sir Mick’s heart goes out to any elderly folk who have lost money to these heartless fraudsters,” he said.
Authorities were at pains to point out that, although a similar offer from Robbie Williams is indeed genuine, they were likewise still advising the public not to respond.
Stones: You Can’t Ever Get What You Want!