CORBYN TO FIFA:
AS the prospect of another World Cup threatens to become a reality, Labour leader JEREMY CORBYN has shocked the soccer world with a radical proposal.
“It seems that every four years we are in the same situation, with countries jostling aggressively for victory,” said the veteran pacifist. “We have seen this time and again, and yet we fail to learn from past experiences. Surely it is time for us to get around a table and talk things through.”
Corbyn urged football’s governing body to sit down for vital negotiations prior to the potential breakout of another terrifying World Cup.
The opposition leader and Arsenal fan added that if the 24 nations concerned could only get together and discuss their differences, a peaceful settlement was within reach.
resolve “In this day and age, surely we have the maturity to resolve these issues between us without having to pit one country against another on the football field over 90 minutes, plus two periods of fifteen minutes extra time if needed and ultimately a penalty shootout,” said the long-standing politician.
“This would save us all the heartache, expense and horror of another World Cup taking place at all. Would you like a pot of my home-made jam?” he concluded.
alka-seltzer However, Corbyn’s plan did not go down well with officials in the Geneva headquarters of FIFA. “Sorry. The number you have dialled has not been recognised,” said a spokesman for football’s governing body. “Please hang up and try again.”