JOKER AVOIDS JAIL
A SERIAL prankster who has raised thousands of pounds for good causes has narrowly avoided a prison sentence after one of his charity stunts went wrong.
Big-hearted fundraiser, Mick
Halibut has built up a small reputation in South Yorkshire after playing a series of pranks that primarily target brothels in Doncaster and Sheffield.
“I’ve always found that people working in the sex industry are bit straight-faced and take themselves far too seriously,” he told the Doncaster Cyst and Embo
lism. “Playing tricks and poking a bit of fun at them is just my way of getting them to lighten up, while highlighting some of the hypocricy in the industry, especially in terms of pricing and timekeeping,” he added.
Ever the practical joker, Halibut’s hilarious pranks have included pretending to have misplaced his wallet after having full sex with a prostitute and climbing out of the window and, following oral in his car, asking
In another classic gotcha, after getting executive relief, Mick set off the fire alarms in a Sheffield massage parlour and promptly disappeared down the fire escape without paying. “It was absolutely hilarious. The look on their faces when they eventually turned the alarms off and got back in the building must have been priceless,” he recalled. “It’s a pity I was long gone and couldn’t see them.”
“All the money I save on the sexual services is donated to local charities, so it’s all for a good cause,” he added.
magistrates
However, back in July one of
his stunts in a lap dancing club was rumbled, and Mick ended up being arrested.
Magistrates heard that Halibut had spent the night in Doncaster’s Peppermint Hippo club, running up a three-figure bill which included drinks and a private dance in the specially curtained-off area.
When it came to paying, in typical Halibut style, the inveterate joker feigned a heart attack and ran off whilst the girls went to call an ambulance.
crown
Unfortunately, he was caught just outside the club by bouncers. He tried to explain he was fundraising for charity, but his pleas fell on deaf ears and the police were called. And yesterday, hard-hearted magistrates handed him a £300 fine and 6 months suspended sentence.
But Halibut vowed that his conviction would not stop him raising money for good causes. “Many of the brothels’ owners and employees fail to see the funny side of my pranks,” he told reporters outside Doncaster Magistrates Court. “I have often been chased down the road for miles by these humourless killjoys armed with makeshift weapons.”
“But they won’t stop me doing my charitable deeds,” he promised.
Halibut told reporters: “When I’m doing a stunt and, for example, getting pulled off by an uninterested masseuse, I tell myself it’s all for charity and that really helps me get through it.”
dulux
Indeed, such is Mick’s reputation in South Yorkshire knocking shops that he has been forced to be ever more inventive, becoming a master of disguise in order to prevent the sex workers twigging on to his wacky stunts. To this end, he has created a set of zany characters that he uses to pull his pranks including: •
Stan Molehusband -A Sheffield-based truck driver who loves blowjobs •
Barry Fibreboard - A Doncaster-based plasterer with a thing for threesomes •
Doug Twelvetrees - A Glossop-based painter and decorator with a penchant for getting smacked on the arse
And these characters are something Halibut takes great pride in: “I’ve worked hard developing them; each has their own unique back story which adds a layer of credibility when getting past notoriously stringent brothel receptions,” he says.
“Generally, dressing up as these people gets me through the door and past security,” he continues. “The only thing they have in common is that they all have a hard-on in need of relief, but other than that they give me a great deal of creative freedom to stay one step ahead of the madams.”
scotts
And Halibut believes that one day his charitable work will be recognised at the highest levels. “You see people getting gongs all the time for their work with charities,” he said.
quaker
“I’ve honestly lost count of the amount of money I’ve saved and donated to charity with my practical jokes. Maybe one day someone in the community will put my name forward to the palace.”
“But that’s not why I do it,” he stressed. “In a way, I hope I’m passed over for an award, as the fame might make it difficult for me to play my practical jokes.”
Halibut says that next week he is going to attempt a tour of all the Sheffield massage parlours in one afternoon dressed as an Otley-based carpet fitter, to raise £350 for the dialysis unit of a local hospital.