CELEBRITY GHOST ENCOUNTERS
ACCORDING to a recent poll, a terrifying 39% of the British electorate believe that a house can be haunted and a chilling 35% of the UK - who are all legally allowed to vote in UK elections - believe in ghosts, whilst a frightening 9% of people - who are trusted to have their say in a referendum - even go as far as to claim that they’ve communicated with the dead.
We ask 5 celebrities about their paranormal encounters with the hope of finding out, once and for all, whether ghosts are real or not, which they’re obviously not.
ANDY FORDHAM Darts Player
“I’M convinced that ghosts exist because I’ve personally been followed by some sort of malevolent poltergeist since I was about 30 stone. Wherever I go in my house, I hear the eerie sound of squeaking floorboards and often, after dinner, my wife will tell me that she can smell an acrid aroma reminiscent of sulphur, as though our house were built upon some kind of hell-mouth to the underworld. Weirdly, wherever I live the bulbs inside my fridge burn out in no time at all leaving electricians baffled and giving me no other option than to assume that my kitchen is possessed by Zuul, The Gatekeeper of Gozer, who made his most famous appearance in the original Ghostbusters film. Me and the Mrs have tried moving house but the same thing happens wherever we go. Very spooky.”
DANNY DYER Actor and geezer
“I’VE been getting proper mugged off by a pillar and post ever since I found out that I’m related to that slag Edward III. And now that the spooky fucking melt has figured out that me and the Mrs have got a bit of bunce, he’s been doing my swede in every night, floating around the place and giving it the big, I am. Everyone says I’ve gone completely radio rental, but I’ve seen the creepy little mug with my own mince pies. I wish I’d never gone on Who Do You Think You Are because now I’m wasting my time bowling into the local church and trying to get the local rev to come over and stripe up the creepy little plum with holy water until he does one”
John Suchet Newsreader
“I BELIEVE in ghosts because when I was a little boy me and my friend Kevin cycled up the road to an old, abandoned house in our village so that we could break in and scare ourselves. Whilst we were in there, we saw the ghost of Brian Belo, star of Big Brother 8. It was terrifying but the whole thing was made even more spooky when you consider that Belo wasn’t even born until 35 years later and didn’t even appear on British Television until 2007 so how did I even know who he was? It’s even more spooky because he’s not even dead. The entire thing sends a shiver down my spine.”
RACHEL RILEY Presenter
“EVERYONE who works on Countdown knows that ghosts exist because the studio has been haunted by the ghost of Richard Whiteley for the last 10 years. Quite often during filming he’ll put up sinister messages using the magnetic letters, or scrawl satanic runes onto the whiteboard during the numbers round which makes editing the show very difficult. And nobody likes to be the last one to leave the studio because there’s always things flying around and bursting into flames. On more than one occasion production staff and contestants have ended up getting killed. I never knew Richard when he was alive but if this is how he behaves when he’s dead, I can’t say I’m a fan.”
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH Naturalist
“I’VE always wondered whether albino animals are actually ghosts. I’m told by zoologists and biologists that they categorically aren’t and it’s simply something to do with skin pigmentation but I’m still not sure. They certainly look a bit spooky to me.”