MPs! THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A BORIS-STYLE BUNGA-BUNGA WEEKEND!
WE’VE all dreamed of being whisked away on a private jet to spend a debauched, vodka-, cocaine-, and fanny-fuelled weekend in a high security Italian castle. But if you thought that sort of fantasy opportunity was only open to film stars, rock musicians and supermodels, think again. Because we’ve teamed up with a sinister Russian oligarch who has close KGB links to offer one lucky Member of Parliament a fabulous Bunga Bunga Party Golden Ticket!
The lucky winner will be picked up from his constituency in a bulletproof, bugged Soviet Embassy limousine and whisked to a secret airfield somewhere in the south of England, where he will board a luxury private jet. A few hours later, after landing at an undisclosed location somewhere in the South of Italy already three sheets to the wind on free vodka, he will be escorted by armed heavies to the oligarch’s luxury high security villa for three days of unrestricted drug, booze, and sex-fuelled hedonism.
And that’s not all! After three days of round-the-clock decadent excess, and still wearing the same sweat- and fluid-stained suit in which he was picked up, the dehydrated, nauseous and heavily hungover winner will be dropped off at the gates of the nearest airport to make his own way back to Britain to begin his part-time career working for the Russian secret service.
To be in with a chance of winning this spunktastic all-sexpenses paid junket of a lifetime, all you have to do is answer the following 6 simple House of Commons-based questions and then complete the tie-breaker in ten words or less.* *Yes,we know that should be ten words or fewer.