“MY HUSGAND AND I... ”
Palace reveal Christmas puppetry plan
BUCKINGHAM Palace has announced that Her Majesty the Queen will have company while delivering her Christmas Day address this year… in the shape of a puppet sidekick.
The 91-year-old monarch is understood to have complained to courtiers that she fears the yearly royal broadcasts, which started in 1932, are becoming ‘staid’, and is said to have ordered that a goggleeyed anthropomorphic puppet be constructed to join her on screen.
marionette
Sources in the Royal household said that the Queen presented the Master of the Rolls with a detailed design for the posh, buck-toothed marionette, which is to be called ‘The Duke of Fluffington’.
The plans are thought to include a mechanism for Her Majesty to control the dummy’s eyes, mouth and eyebrows, while the heir to the throne Prince Charles, hidden beneath the desk, controls its arm.
A draft of the 2019 Christmas Day speech leaked online last night includes scenes where The Duke of Fluffington throws the Queen’s notes up in the air, sings the national anthem while she drinks a glass of water, and tries to steal her tiara. The slapstick havoc continues until the monarch threatens to put his Grace back in his box.
trouper
According to the draft, to end the broadcast, the puppet will rest its head on the Queen’s shoulder and open and close its jaw while she sings Just The Two Of Us out of the corner of her mouth.
“This plan, while unusual, is nothing new,” said royal commentator Dickie Arbiter. “We may not remember now, but the Queen’s uncle Edward VIII, the Duke of Windsor, delivered his abdication address in the form of a fast-paced crosstalk routine with Archie off
Educating
Archie.”
“And of course, there was also Princess Diana’s bombshell 1996 interview with Orville the Duck,” he added.