I MUST BE THE UNLUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD
“That’s Life!” – Yorkshireman Gary remains philosophical over lost millions
WINNING a life-changing fortune on the lottery is everyone’s dream. But to lose the magic ticket before even cashing it in is surely the stuff of nightmares. And it’s a nightmare that former West Yorkshire binman GARY EGGPIPER knows all too well, after he came into unbelievable fortunes on several occasions, only to have his riches cruelly snatched from his hands by the fickle finger of fate.
“I sometimes feel like the world is playing a sick joke on me,” Eggpiper, 57, told his local paper the Choddington Chronicle. “To see my winnings go up in smoke once is rotten luck, but going through the same experience on multiple occasions makes me think it just isn’t supposed to happen.”
And Gary’ isn’t the only victim of his bad luck. It has also cost his friends and family the chance of living the high life.
“I wouldn’t mind so much if it was just my money, because I’d only have myself to blame,” he told us. “But unfortunately, my winnings have always been part of a syndicate. That means that my losses have robbed my loved ones of their fair share as well.”
“I feel pig sick about it.”
He told us: “Money shouldn’t be the most important thing in the world, but sadly my lousy luck has resulted in bad blood between me and the people I care about most.”
Eggpiper, who enjoys racing exotic sports cars at the weekend, explained how, about 10 years ago, he came to both win and lose his first mammoth windfall.
Me and my family had been paying into a little syndicate since the National Lottery first started. Me, my mum, my sister and my two brothers each chose a line made up of birthdays and dates that were significant to the family. My older brother, Alan, kept it in his wallet and we’d all give him the money so that each week he could buy the ticket when he went to pick up his fish and chips on a Friday night.
Over the years we’d won the odd tenner for three numbers here and there, but nothing to write home about. Then one evening I got a call from Alan. I could barely understand what he was saying through the excitement, but it didn’t take me long to realise that we’d hit the motherlode.
really“That night had been a double rollover and the jackpot was a whopping £24 million!
I was so excited that I actually felt dizzy; winning the lottery is a feeling like no other. Me and the family all met up at the local pub and we celebrated like we’d never celebrated before. This money would be life-changing for all of us, and not least for my dear old mum who needed an operation on her legs. And it meant my sister Pat, who’d been off work with depression, could finally give up her job at the chicken chlorination plant.
I told Alan that I’d take the winning ticket to Camelot and sort out all of the boring paperwork.
What happened next still sends a shiver down my spine.”
detached
The binman, who lives in a 9-bedroom detached house in a private road near Ilkley, explained how he came to LOSE the lotto ticket which would have seen his mother, and each of his siblings, receive almost £5 million each.
“I was walking to the bus stop with the prizewinning piece of paper firmly wedged in the pocket of my jeans. The burden of responsibility weighed so heavy on me that I remember my brow dripping with sweat.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a fox ran out of the woods and knocked me over. As I fell, my jeans must have torn on a fence post or something, and I remember watching as the lottery ticket fluttered out of my pocket and into the road.
With no thought for my own safety I sprinted into the path of oncoming traffic to retrieve the prized coupon, but alas I was too late. I watched in horror as a peregrine falcon swooped down, picked it up in its beak, and flew away into the distance with everything we’d ever dreamed of.”
Gary, who owns a boat in the Dordogne, now had to tell his family the bad news and pray that they could find it in their hearts to forgive him.
“The next few weeks were all a bit of a blur. I remember there was a lot of shouting and tears as tension in the family ran high.
I frantically tried to find a way to sort it out, but there was nothing I could do and the money was gone. Unfortunately, the bird must have dropped the ticket which somebody then found and handed in, because Camelot said that the prize had been claimed. We tried to tell them it was rightfully ours, but we couldn’t prove it. Tragically, my brother Alan had bought it from a shop that didn’t have CCTV.
Rollover and Out
It didn’t take me long to realise that we’d hit the motherlode.
I tried to explain to my family that in many ways it was Alan’s fault, but things turned ugly and I decided it might be best if I moved out of the family home that we all lived in and into a new house that had a bit more room.”
Eggpiper, whose mansion contains an underground swimming pool and bowling alley, was confused by his family’s reaction.
“I appreciate that my family don’t want to see me any more, but I sometimes feel like they don’t understand that I’ve lost out as well. I also had things I’d have loved to have done with that money.
I sometimes think they forget that I’m a bin man. They say that time heals all wounds so I’m hopeful that they’ll forgive me one day for my momentary lapse of concentration. 32-stone Gary who is currently dating a 22-year-old Ukranian underwear model, thought that he’d seen enough drama for one lifetime, but in an unbelievable turn of events, he was about to go through it all again.
After the lottery debacle I started spending a bit more time with the lads that I worked with on the bins. I hadn’t been turning up to work much because I was studying for my helicopter pilot’s licence, but I was still seeing the boys at weekends.
We used to go metal detecting around the Yorkshire Dales and then spend the evening in the pub studying the bits and bobs that we’d dug up. Our plunder was usually just old bottle tops and the odd rusty key, but we had a laugh.
But one day, while we were detecting in a field in Norfolk, our detectors started beeping and flashing away like Billy-o. We began digging and what we found absolutely blew us away. We’d just unearthed a treasure hunter’s dream – thousands of gold Anglo-Saxon coins dating back over 1000 years and worth a king’s ransom.
We had it valued at almost £15 million and the British Museum immediately offered to buy it.
The next day, after an interview with the local rag, I agreed to take the lifechanging hoard down to London and sort out all of the tedious museum paperwork. What happened to me on my way still makes me wake in the night in a cold sweat.”
terraced
Eggpiper, who was last week photographed at one of Elton John’s after-show parties, described how he lost his second opportunity to become filthy rich in another bizarre and unfortunate turn of events.
“I was on the train with a case full of the extremely valuable coins, thinking about what had happened the previous year with the lottery ticket. I was determined to take extra special care of what I was carrying this time, and also looking forward to being able to have the opportunity to give my share of the cash to my family as a way to start building bridges.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the train door opened, probably as a result of a fault with the electronics. I went over to try and fix it, but the train must have gone over some points or something, because as it jolted I fell out and rolled down a hill into the woods.
Dazed and confused, yet only concerned with my colleagues’ money, I frantically darted around the undergrowth trying to find the case. But just as I spotted it lodged in a nearby bush, a fox appeared from nowhere and grabbed it. I could only watch helplessly as it ran away into the undergrowth, never to be seen again, with the case containing the treasure in its mouth.”
Gary, who owns a Tuscan vineyard and was recently featured in Forbes Magazine, now had to tell his workmates that they wouldn’t be jumping off the bin lorry just yet.
“I felt absolutely awful. I simply couldn’t believe it was happening again. None of the lads were as understanding as I’d hoped a nd the whole thing put a deep fracture in our friendship. At that point I decided it was time to quit my job and get away from it all for a while.
Eggpiper decided to go and spend some time on the Caribbean islands of St. Kitts and Nevis whilst he let things cool down back in Yorkshire.
I was sat on my yacht thinking how lonely I was and actually feeling a bit annoyed with my friends and family. They simply didn’t appreciate that missing out on the chance to become a multimillionaire was something that I’d have to live with for the rest of my life too.
I buddied up with some rich fellas whilst I was on holiday. They were nothing like me and we had very little in common, but we seemed to rub along okay. One evening we all had a skinful in a Champagne bar and decided to all go in on buying a thoroughbred racehorse.
It all seemed a like a bit of a mad thing to do for a penniless binman like me, but you only live once and I was on holiday.
brick shit
A few weeks later our horse, King Croesus, was running in a race at Cheltenham and we all pooled a bit of money for a little flutter. We each threw a million into the pot and stuck it on our horse at 50/1. Unbelievably, the bloody thing won,
as we stood watching on the telly, we realised we were holding a betting slip worth almost £250 million. I’ve never drunk as much as I did that night, I can tell you. I couldn’t believe I was going to get my third shot at a fortune.”
Gary, who owns the publishing rights to over 30 tracks by The Beatles, couldn’t wait to get hold of the money and make amends with his friends and family back in Yorkshire.
“With my share of the £250 million, I’d be able to pay back my family and my bin colleagues and still have enough left to live out my days in luxury. The next morning, I offered to take the betting slip to the bookies on the main island and deal with all the faffing about.
Surely, I thought, it couldn’t happen again and this time I’d be extra, extra careful.
Coining It In
Don’t Bet On It
bob’s full
I hired a small motorboat and headed towards the island with the betting slip safely stowed in the gusset of my underpants. I wasn’t taking any chances this time. I was about halfway across the choppy Caribbean waters that separated the two archipelagos when something, possibly some kind of jumping fish, hit me hard in the side of the head, knocking me into the sea.
I spluttered to the surface with no consideration for my own wellbeing, and spotted the invaluable slip of paper floating away from me. But then, as I thrashed towards it, some sort of exotic tropical swordfish leapt out of the water and speared the betting slip on its razor-sharp beak. I could only watch in despair as the fish dived into the inky-blue depths of the Caribbean Sea, vanishing forever with our quarter of a billion pound fortune.
We each threw a million into the pot and stuck it on our horse at 50/1
At the mainland, I decided to get on the first plane back to West Yorkshire, where I resolved to stay at home with only a team of armed security guards and my supermodel girlfriend for company.
And that’s exactly what I did. I don’t gamble or put bets on anything any more, as I’m terrified of what might happen if I ever try and collect the winnings. Cruel fate has already cost me my family and friends.
I sometimes think about how different my life would be today if Lady Luck hadn’t dealt me such a series of cruel blows, and I still had all of that money.
I suppose it just wasn’t meant to be.