WOKE CELEB No. 4: James O’Brien

SMIRKING, liberal-elitist radio show host James enjoys nothing more than mocking and taunting decent British Leave voters on his tawdry LBC talk show. But will he ‘Remain’ quite so smug when the joke is on him?

To find out, I arrive at the Brexit-loathing socialist’s swanky Islington pad at 8am on April 1st. Shinning up the drainpipe in a balaclava and combat gear, I jemmy open the bathroom window and sneak inside.

Quick as a flash, I pluck O’Brien’s toothbrush from its cup, and insert it – bristles first – into my rectum. I can’t help chuckling as I slide the brush repeatedly in and out of my anus. This same cheeky prank will be being played in a million homes up and down the country today, and any normal, rightthinking Brit would find it hilarious.

After ten minutes of intense sphinctal swiping, I place the soiled brush back in its glass and hop out onto the window ledge to watch the comedy unfold. Moments later, O’Brien enters the bathroom, squeezes toothpaste onto the tainted brush and

begins brushing his teeth. He freezes instantly as he realises something is wrong.

But rather than shaking his head and roaring with laughter at the delightful jape that’s been played on him, the priggish snowflake grimaces, drops to his knees and begins vomiting into the toilet.

‘What the fuck’s happened to my toothbrush?!’ I hear the horseplayintolerant broadcaster howl between retches. Disappointment, fury and disgust course through my veins: clearly, this pompous snob considers the great British April Fools’ tradition beneath him.

I snap a few pictures of James puking on my iPhone and then slide back down the drainpipe, disappointed, but not surprised.

O’Brien made his name as the celebrated author of the book ‘How To Be Right’. But in his ultra-woke hatred of April Fools’ Day, he’s proven himself dead WRONG.