VIZ

The Prince Pizza of Express

A Loyal Tribute to HRH Prince Andrew, Duke of York (Rtd)

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ON February 19th, Prince Andrew, Duke of York celebrated his 60th birthday. Not for him the pomp and ceremony of a grand state occasion; instead, he chose to mark his special day quietly at home amongst his family. For tragically, Britain’s favourite Royal has been forced - by circumstan­ces outside of his control to retire from his lightweigh­t public duties after vile and untrue accusation­s were made about his private life.

It is unthinkabl­e that a senior Royal should have his impeccable character traduced in this way, but sadly we now live in times when the word of a young American woman counts for as much as that of the sixth in line to our country’s throne - a man who, in his role as trade envoy, has selflessly promoted Britain Plc by playing golf at some of the most exclusive rses aroun t wor Now the Epstein & Weinstein Mint has commission­ed this fine porcelain collect ’s plate - The Prince of Pizza Express - a wonderful portrait of HRH the Duke of k captured in fine oils by eminent Royal fantasy a ist Roland Piano.

Loving depiction of a forever tainted royal

The tainted Prince is depicted enjoying a meal in Pizza Express, provi beyond all doubt that he was definitely where he s d he was, and not s mewhere else doing something that he shouldn’t ha e been doing. Which h definitely wasn’t.

The artwork depicts…

The fact that he was in Pizza Express on the night in question, over 30 les away from Belgravia.

The perfectly dry, sweat-free skin that shows up hi accuser, once-andf -all, as the scheming liar she is.

A man reading a newspaper that clearly displays t date when the P nce was just having an innocent pizza and definitel wasn’t up to no good. The lovable royal twinkle in his eye that seems to ay: “I have nothing to h de and will, of course, speak to the FBI if it’s at all ossible to find time in ”

And now YOU can have The Prince of Pizza Express ding from the FBI in YOUR home for a sin e one-off ment of ust £29. ollowed b fift weekly one-off payments of £29.99). A percentage of the money raised will be donated to charities that haven’t yet got round to telling the Prince to fuck off as their patron.

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