50 QUID CRAPTIC CROSSWORD No. 296

Across

8/10 Old baldie playing with balls: something pricking his prick, did you say? (6,6)

9 Russian emperor going commando, by the sound of it? (8) 10 See 8 11 Fucking old bird (8) 13 Wear the trousers - as will cock? (4,3,5) 16 What might one do with the bishop with terrible ‘flu, retiring (7) 18 Yellow rain on holiday? Get out of here! (4,3) 19 Mater the mater? (12) 23 Big fart in 21 down, say? No, that one’s ice (3,5) 24 Two pieces of bread, a slice of ham and some pickle stuffed in arse (6) 26 Italian vibrators in violation of God’s law (8) 27 Great excitement leaving natural deposit beneath something hairy (6)

Down

1 Cock or cunt (4) 2 Desire for killing the urge for fucking one’s lady while she’s up on blocks? (9) 3 Pub captivated by moist piece of shit (6) 4 Venetian spanner, wanky tailor (6) 5 Revolutionary films showing where to get Don Johnson’s rubber hat? (8) 6 Pointless singer (5) 7 Award for youth entering Miranda’s body (4)

12 In love, a lust for meat (4) 13 Stimulate base of fanny, a shade of red (4)

14/23 Likely to get some fucking award in family tree: Bill’s partner on top of it? (7,2,4) 15 A butt sneeze finally drifting away in the distance (4) 17 Fuck all accepting destiny on ailing fleet (8) 18 Like perfect buttocks grasped by slapper tightly (4)

20 Put up with a minimum of rumpy-pumpy in very large shed (6)

21 Heavenly body in back of car sandwiched by you and I? (6) 22 Poking nipsy, chortling spook (5) 23 See 14 25 Top businessman into cybersex, economist (4)