10 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT LLAMAS!

1 LLAMAS are the only mammals on Earth who communicate by humming, apart from hummingbirds, giraffes and the Dave Clark Five.

2 BELIEVE IT or not, llamas have THREE stomachs! "Mental, isn't it?" says TV naturalist DAVID ATTENBOROUGH. "It's like something out of fucking Blade Runner . And this'll really blow your wig off. Cows've got FOUR stomachs. I mean: for fuck's sake! Four! Isn't nature fucking bonkers?" the national treasure added.

3 AN ANAGRAM of 'llamas' is 'small', with an 'a' left over – which is ironic because llamas aren't particularly small. They regularly grow to around 6ft in height – which is nearly THREE TIMES the height of adult human U2 vocalist, BONO.

4 THE SMALLEST ever llama was not an animal... but the Dalai Lama! In 2006, the world's smallest man, Calvin Phillips, was elected the 12th Dalai Lama, making him the most diminutive Tibetan Buddhist leader in history. During his six-year tenure as head of the Buddhist faith, Phillips wore a red handkerchief as a monastic robe and shaved his head with a razor blade the size of a SIM card from an iPhone 11.

5 BERGERAC star JOHN NETTLES is the only living British actor to have been bummed off a llama. The steely-frowned Cornish thespian was trekking through the Andes as a student in the 1960s, when his trousers and pants got snagged on a jagged rock. Seeing an opportunity, a nearby llama anally mounted the Midsomer Murders icon and proceeded to frot itself to orgasm. "It's not an experience I'd be eager to repeat,” Nettles told Bride magazine. "But it's certainly provided me with a memorable after-dinner anecdote."

6 THE OWNER of the largest number of llamas on Earth is none other than superstar rap fave P DIDDY! The Harlem born hip-hopper possesses a whopping 9,708 domesticated

South American tylopods, which he keeps in various rented paddocks across the globe. "If I'm honest, I've got too many,” Diddy told Woman & Home magazine. "I got pissed one night and bought ten thousand of the motherfuckers on eBay. I've given away a few hundred to mates, but I've still got more llamas than I know what to do with."

7 INNUMERABLE pop songs have been written about llamas, such as 'Llama' by Phish, and innumerable others, which we unfortunately don't have the space to list here, due to their aforementioned innumerability.

8 BELIEVE IT or not, American cumshot icon PETER NORTH is afraid of llamas! The freelance stick-vid man has a clause in all his contracts which states that he will not venture within six feet of any two-toed lamoids. "It's not a medical thing", North told The Independent On Sunday. "I just don't like them."

9 MANY of our favourite telly celebrities keep llamas as domestic pets – such as snooker ace

PETER EBDON, Jam frontman PAUL

WELLER and Game of Thrones favourite LENA HEADEY.

10 MANY of our favourite telly celebs don't keep llamas as domestic pets – such as BBC anchorman CLIVE MYRIE, soccer analyst

JAMIE CARRAGHER

and Spectator bellend TOBY YOUNG.