TEA, CAKE AND ...DEATH
W ELCOME to Death Cafe – a place where visitors can enjoy a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake while discussing their own mortality.
The idea was born in London in 2010 and since then more than 3,000 sessions have been held worldwide, with the latest due to take place in Powys next week.
“I’m not so far off death myself,” said organiser Tom Brown, who is 74.
“At my age, you start to see it more as friends depart. t. I’ve been to three funerals so far this year and it became clear that people are interested in death and want to talk about it.”
Former council worker and web developer Jon Underwood first had the idea for Death Cafe six years ago, inspired by the work of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz.
He held the first meeting at his home in East London in September 2011 and events have since been held across Europe, North America and Australia.
Tom hosted his first meeting at the Quarry Cafe in Machynlleth in March and it was attended by around 40 people.
Most of the guests were aged 60 and over, with the youngest in their 20s. Tom is a Quaker and the session was attended by people of many different religious beliefs.
Reflecting on his reasons for holding the event, he said: ““Death is an important subject to talk about, but people don’t know how. It can seem too remote.
“Some people don’t want to talk about it.
“I think it’s not so much a taboo subject, as people simply don’t know how to initiate the discussions.”
Death Cafe estimate more than 30,000 people have attended a meeting in the past five years.
Meetings have been held at people’s homes, in cafes, cemeteries, a yurt and the Royal Festival Hall in London.
According to their website, its objective is to: “Increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.”
They stress that the events are a discussion group, rather than a grief support or counselling session.
“It’s an informal, group-directed discussion, where people can explore issues relating to all aspects of death,” said Tom.
At the last event in Machynlleth, participants were divided between several tables, with each containing a question or idea used to stimulate discussion.
They then moved between tables to discuss different aspects of death and dying.
“The feedback was that people found it very interesting and useful,” said Tom.
“Thinking about death helps people to live life. Death does come to everyone in the end and it’s probably as well to be organised about it before you get there.”
He is now hoping to hold the meetings every three months.
The group is held on a not-forprofit basis, with people invited to make a contribution to cover costs.
An optional meal will be available at the next meeting at the Quarry Cafe, with summer salad, moussaka and cakes on the menu.
Death Cafe state they aim to provide an accessible, respectful and confidential space with no intention of leading people to any conclusion, product or course of action.
Founder Jon Underwood said: “We remain energised by the amazing quality of the dialogue at our events and are overwhelmed by the interest we have received.”
Death Cafe will take place at the Quarry Cafe in Machynlleth on Thursday, June 9, at 7.30pm.
Guests are asked to register before the event by emailing tom@yfelin. plus.com