I’d rather be in a home than listen to grime and eat kale
The Dame Edna specs are nowhere to be seen, but GEMMA DUNN learns the modern world is in for a taste of Barry Humphries’ scathing wit
WHEN Barry Humphries was invited to host Channel 4’s new three-part series, A Granny’s Guide To The Modern World, the popular comic admits he was, at first, surprised.
“I thought, ‘Oh, someone must have died – perhaps they wanted Rex Harrison?”’ he teases. “I was the obvious alternative, I suppose.
“I’m still alive and if I look through my credit cards, I’ve got something called a Senior Railcard. How did I get this? By crossing some invisible line,” the 82-year-old continues, with characteristic dry wit.
“I have become, I guess, old. And because I don’t have any serious physical symptoms yet, I’ve always rather been on the side of youth.
“On the other hand, I’m quite determined to keep the generation gap. I think there’s nothing worse than elderly people behaving in a sort of groovy way.”
Now an octogenarian, Barry may have earned the ‘OAP’ title, but he certainly doesn’t act his age – or indeed look it.
With a wave of dark brown hair, the Melbourne-born comedian – dressed in a navy suit, complete with white shirt, fuchsia pink tie and pocket square – is a far cry from his famous characters, namely the lilac-haired, acid-tongued Dame Edna Everage (who, as it happens, makes a cameo appearance in this summer’s Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie). But while the outlandish, glittery glasses might be missing, his humour is certainly not...
“I’ve always tried to preserve a liberal view, until the producers of this programme asked me to drink kale – a kale smoothie!” he exclaims, looking perplexed.
“And to simultaneously listen to a form of music called ‘grime’. Benjamin Britten wrote an opera called Peter Grimes,” he adds wryly. “But this wasn’t Peter Grimes; it was a different sort of music.
“So I had to listen to grime and eat kale, and I thought to myself, ‘I’d really rather be in a nursing home having my meals pureed!”’
Playing on the logic that modernday Britain can be a confusing place to be old, A Granny’s Guide To The Modern World looks at the extent to which things have changed in the past few decades, and in particular, how, as a mature member of society, it can be hard to keep up.
“These programmes have been, to my pleasure and deep honour, placed in a time capsule so that older folk in the future, and even extra-terrestrials, may learn how we in 21st-century Britain learnt to adapt to the strange and many ridiculous customs imposed upon us by the young,” Barry notes. He’s not alone in his quest to unlock the mystifying zone of technology, fashion, language and the invention of political correctness. The show also sees a group of equally inquisitive ‘oldies’ feature alongside Barry, enlisted to investigate a string of modern-day scenarios. There’s 94-year-old Bobby, who learns why certain terms are deemed politically incorrect, while senior citizens and best friends Daphne, Trish and Margot go on a quest to discover if recreational drugs can be fun for those who usually relax with a spot of gardening. With a curious attitude and a willingness to get to grips with the modern world, Barry and his cohorts learn what the younger generation really thinks of them via a focus group reviewing bogus technology, how to impress people by using some more inventive swear words, and that it really can be fun to blast your best friends to smithereens while playing a video game.
“We have on this programme some wonderful old folk and they are all great comedians too,” the TV personality quips, revelling in the probing format.
“I haven’t enjoyed myself more on any show,” he says, before quickly adding: “I’m not including my own shows.
“But I’ve tried to make this a little bit my own and I think I was invited for that reason. I don’t very often do anything as myself – even when I’m talking to you,” he confides. “I’m a version of myself. I’m not really me.”
Does this mean that – as an internationally renowned comic and actor, best-known for outlandish alter egos, as well as his contribution to film, writing, theatre and art – that he’s simply defending his privacy in an over-exposed industry?
“Celebrity, of course, is a new-fangled thing, isn’t it?” fourtimes-married Barry reasons, after pausing a moment. “A celebrity really is someone who is known to everyone who doesn’t know them.
“We can name a few well-known