MUM WANTS HEADSTONE FOR CHILD SHE LOST 10 YEARS AGO
AMOTHER of three from Blackwood is trying to raise money for a headstone for the child she lost 10 years ago. In 2007, Emma Williams was 19 and pregnant with her second child.
At her 16 week-scan she received terrible news.
“I was having another boy,” said Emma.
“He looked like he clapped his hands (on the scan). As I was filling up with joy the nurse says ‘Oh, there seems to be something floating.’
“Panic is setting in, the nurse said maybe his insides are floating around but that can easily be operated on when he’s born but we’ll get a second opinion. Half an hour later I had another scan and was hit with even worse news.”
Her little baby had a hernia and his organs were inside the hernia. Not only that but he was also missing an artery.
On top of that he may have had Edwards or Down’s syndrome.
The doctors told Emma that he would be lucky to survive birth and even then wouldn’t live beyond the age of two.
Emma was faced with a very difficult decision.
She said: “The chance he might have Down’s syndrome did not bother me in the slightest, I would have loved him.
“When they said he would be lucky to survive the birth and then if he did manage to survive the birth he’d die by the age of two, it made my heart drop and I felt sick.
“I wanted to run away. I was all alone with these doctors telling me my baby would die either way.
“After a few hours I decided to put him to rest. Not to go through all the pain of operations and to live such a short life of pain and discomfort.”
Emma also had to take into account that her eldest son Callum would bond with his brother only to then lose him.
“I had to go back a few days later and be induced.
“All I was thinking was ‘breathe and move, little man’ but he never did.
“Later she brought me my son covered in a cotton blanket.
“Inside was my beautiful boy – he had fingernails and tiny toes.
“I was scared to touch him, he was so small.
“I removed his blanket to see him fully and there was the hernia, it was as big as his head.
“I knew maybe I did the right thing. To this day now I wish I gave him that chance of life and I’ll always regret it.
“Even though he didn’t breathe he was still my son.”
At the time Emma was not able to afford a headstone for her son, whom she named Ethan. March will be the tenth year since she held Ethan. Now married with two more boys, Ryan, eight, and Logan, four, Emma wants to give Ethan the headstone he deserves.
“We need to raise £500-600 for the cheaper ones” said Emma. “We are hoping to raise more and give the rest to charities that help parents who have lost children.
“When I went to find out how much a headstone would cost originally I was a 19-year-old single mum.
“I just couldn’t afford it and neither could his dad.
“I now have three children and with one in comp and the other two in primary school there’s always school trips, school uniforms and dinner money, so I’ve never managed to save enough for a headstone.
“March 8, 2017, will be his 10th birthday from the day he was born.
“I would love to be able to place a stone above him reading ‘Ethan James Lee. Born asleep. Son to Emma. Brother to Callum, Ryan and Logan. You are missed every day’.”
Emma wants to give her other children a proper place to go and grieve for their brother.
She said: “I have always been open with them and they do ask a lot of questions. He is not forgotten.”
If you would like to donate to Ethan’s headstone visit: www. gofundme.com/headstone-forbaby-ethan