I WAS SO CONFUSED – HE TOLD ME THE ABUSE WAS ‘OUR LITTLE SECRET’

TO everyone else her abuser was just a “loving man being affectionate”. “In public he would hold me inappropriately, pick me up, and touch me in private areas,” said Beth, whose name we have changed to protect her identity.

“For people around us he portrayed a loving man being affectionate – he had everyone fooled. I grew up quickly as a child and learnt to get dressed and go to the toilet by myself at an early age.

“The abuse would happen every week. He’d find some way of separating me from other people so we were alone together.

“I would be peeling potatoes or helping to chop vegetables and he would start touching me and trying to be intimate.

“I tried to limit the times when we’d be alone together. I didn’t want him anywhere near me.”

By using threats and conditions, Beth’s abuser made sure his actions remained a secret.

She said: “I was so confused. He used to tell me that the abuse was ‘our little secret’ and that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone about it.

“I knew that I didn’t like him doing what he was doing, but didn’t know if it was normal or not. He’d pretend it was something special for us.

“If there was anything I wanted, like a new toy or sweets, he would buy them for me and then threaten to take them away if I told anyone about what he was doing to me.”

For Beth the abuse got more severe the older she got.

But so did her determination to fight back – once hitting her abuser so hard at the age of 13 that he fell to the floor.

From then on the more resisted the worse it became.

She said: “I began to understand that the abuse wasn’t right or normal when I was 12 and I started to fight back. We used to have physical arguments where I would lash out at him. I was so conflicted because I didn’t want him to die, but I didn’t want the abuse to continue.

“After that the more I fought back the worse the abuse got and the more it seemed to urge him on. He seemed to get more of a thrill if I fought.”

Instead the teenager learned that words were her most powerful weapon by threatening to tell her mother.

For two years she was able to reason and plead with her abuser until he became fearful of being reported she and left her alone.

Then at the age of 15 Beth’s world was turned upside down when her mother died.

Beth said: “My mum was my only bargain to get him to stop and his words to me were: ‘Your mum’s not here, you can’t tell her. What are you going to do now?’

“The abuse continued after my mum’s death. I was dealing with the grief of mum’s passing as a 16-yearold.

“The strength of her character gave me strength so I acted in memory of her and the support she would have given me.”

For Beth things only started to change after her mother’s friend became worried about how she was coping.

Breaking down in tears, the teenager risked everything and told her what was happening.