‘I HAD A PLAN – I WAS GOING TO END MY LIFE’
Car crash survivor pulled back from brink of suicide e
ASALES executive who survived an horrific car crash which left him with bleeding on the brain and fractures to his skull has opened up about how close he came to ending his own life after suffering from depression.
To raise awareness about mental health issues and suicide, Matthew Campbell decided to share his traumatic experience by posting a video on Facebook.
The 20-year-old, from Cardiff, talks about the mounting mental health issues he suffered following the accident in June 2016, which left him with a number of serious injuries.
The video has been viewed more than 3,800 times since it was posted on Thursday, with many users using the hashtag #itsoknottobeok in an attempt to encourage others to talk about their mental health.
Matthew said: “Around August last year, over the course of a couple of months everything just got on top of me – my car kept breaking down, I had money issues and I was struggling.
“Because I never talked to anyone about it I didn’t think anyone could help me. I tried to deal with it on my own.
“I tried different strategies but nothing worked. It all mounted up and I hid it away from everyone.”
By mid-November last year, following a series of arguments with family and friends and growing money worries, Matthew said things “all got too much”.
At that moment Matthew decided to drive to The Knap – a pebbled beauty spot near the beach in Barry. “I was going down there to park up and end my life,” he said. “I got out of my car, wandered up the path, and found the spot where I wanted to do it. I thought, ‘This is it, this is happening.’”
Matthew went back to his car and started to write a “suicide letter” in the notes section of his mobile phone.
“I wanted to tell everyone how sorry I was – sorry to everyone I hurt, everyone who was disappointed in me. I wanted to apologise for the person I was.
“I didn’t see myself as a good person. I didn’t feel like I had a purpose on this planet any more.
“I sat there just thinking back on everything that had gone on in my life.”
In June 2016 Matthew was involved in a car crash in Five Mile Lane in Barry. A rear passenger in the car – which rolled and landed on its side – he was trapped inside.
He was rushed to hospital and put into a medically induced coma, having suffered traumatic injuries including a bleed on the brain, skull fractures, large head lacerations and a perforated lung.
“It was the fight of my life,” said Matthew, who lives in Ely. “I was in a coma on the Monday, woke up on the Tuesday with no feeling in one side of my body – I was halfparalysed – and I walked out of the hospital on the Friday.”
Thinking about the accident and of his determination to recover made Matthew realise he wanted to live.
“I sat there in my car and I realised if I had the determination to get through that then I could get through this now. I remembered how, just after the accident, all of my family and friends were scared to lose me. It hit me – I know things are bad now but I’ve come so far. I had the mental strength to recover from the accident. I am going through a bad patch – but things will get better.
“I didn’t want to leave all the upset on everyone else. If I didn’t have that thought then I might not be here talking to you today.”
After that realisation Matthew started his car and drove home.
“No one knew why I went down The Knap at first – I told them I’d just gone for a drive. It was a really tough time after that, too.”
Matthew eventually confided in the case manager who was deal- ing with his accident and started to realise se that opening up about bad experiences helped to lift the he burden.
“I started thinking inking about all the positives rather than negatives.”
Matthew then decided that he wanted to help others. He posted a video to Facebook detailing his journey.
“It took a huge amount for me to make the video but I needed to put it out there for other people who may be suffering in the same way. I want them to know that it can get better. You just have to get through the dark stages first.”
A number of people have now contacted Matthew, including close friends who had no idea about the struggles he was facing, as well as strangers going through similar experiences.
“If I can help one other person I will be happy,” Matthew said. “I would like to say a massive thank you to my family and close friends who have offered me support.
“Even though I didn’t speak out, just knowing they were there did help me.”
For confidential support the Samaritans can be contacted free, 24/7, on 116 123.