‘I FEEL SO LUCKY AT LEGACY GREG HAS LEFT’

WHEN Rachel Rees’ much-loved husband died from cancer she was inundated with messages of love and support. A year on from his death, she has movingly described how visitors, cards, letters, phone calls, texts and messages helped her and their two young sons get through the pain.

Greg, who was only 41, had played rugby at youth level for Llanelli and was a popular policeman with South Wales Police.

When he died, Rachel even got messages from ex-criminals.

Since his death Rachel has left her job as a teacher, retrained as a barista, and now runs a business called Cupcakes by Rachel. She regularly writes a blog about coffee.

This week, on the first anniversary of losing her husband, she wrote an uplifting entry about how she tries to stay positive.

Rachel says: “Greg faced the cancer with such a positive mindset. He tried his very best to beat the cancer but unfortunately it wasn’t to be.

“I realise that everybody deals with grief very differently, and that a partner’s grief is different to a parent’s grief or a child’s grief or a friend’s grief. My philosophy is that I cannot change what has happened, no matter how much I want to, so I need to try and make the best of my situation.”

She had been in two minds about whether to publish the blog but was encouraged by a friend to do so. It had more than 800 views hours.

Rachel says: “My blog is usually about coffee and cakes, but I started it as a hobby/therapy when my husband died and on the anniversary felt that I wanted to talk about being positive and grateful and to try and put a positive spin on an otherwise difficult day.

“I had an overwhelming response, which was amazing and very uplifting! I’m hoping that it may help others in my situation.” Here is Rachel’s blog: “A year ago today my life was changed forever when I lost my husband Greg at the age of just 41. Although he’d been diagnosed with seemingly incurable stomach cancer almost a year earlier, it was still a huge shock that he died so suddenly. in 24

“Typical of Greg, Greg he was as kind in death as he was in life. He passed away quickly at home surrounded by his loved ones. Although the cancer was under control after many sessions of chemotherapy, it was probably a large clot that killed him, a side effect of the cancer and treatment.

“I think I probably did a lot of my grieving when we had Greg’s diagnosis a year earlier. Although he seemed fairly well, the doctors’ faces at each appointment told a different story. The cancer was incurable. They couldn’t operate to remove it but chemotherapy could be used to contain and hopefully shrink it.

“I’d heard many people say that when they get a cancer diagnosis it’s almost like an out-of-body experience, that you feel like you are looking in on somebody else’s life and that is exactly how it felt. At the start we talked very openly about what would happen in the worst-case scenario.

“Greg instilled in me a belief that I would be fine and that I was more than capable of bringing up the boys should the worst happen. As it was, his treatment immediately caused an improvement and for large parts of the year between his diagnosis and death he was fairly well.

“We were both lucky to have the full support of our employers and we were never made to feel that we should have been anywhere but at home as a family. For this I am eternally grateful. We had a year together as a family, precious time that many of my friends with careers just don’t get.

“We actually had many adventures that year! We bought a VW camper van, van which had long been a dream of Greg’s, but he’d never ironically been able to do that when he was well and working, due to the shifts. We enjoyed family camping trips to Pembrokeshire, Devon and Wiltshire. We watched the Perseids meteor shower at Stonehenge and woke next to the beach in Newgale. Magical times.

“Greg was a very good patient. He did everything that his doctors (and I!) told him. He took every pill, attended every chemotherapy session and tried alternative therapies, I’m forever grateful to the healthcare professionals who managed his condition as well as they did.

“He took up new hobbies such as painting and playing the ukulele, to keep him occupied when in pain. He never moaned. He didn’t want to be in a ‘battle’ with the cancer, he believed that it had happened for a reason.

“This was truly inspiring and has helped me to cope better. It would have been awful had he been bitter or angry or just given up.

“As the consultant said, many people hear the word cancer and it’s game over for them, they just give up. Luckily for us, Greg faced the cancer with such a positive mindset and a belief that he would be better. Put simply, he tried his very best to beat the cancer but unfortunately it wasn’t to be.

“In the days after his passing it became apparent just how highly thought of he was.

“There was a huge outpouring of grief, and love, for the big man on social media. I received dozens of vis-