BEREAVED TEEN RECALLS SISTER IN EMOTIONAL BLOG
ANXIETY, panic, grief, denial and forgetting that her sister is not around to chat to any more – these are some of the devastating feelings a bereaved teenager is sharing in an emotional blog.
Holly Clark’s sister Emily died aged 18 in March 2016 – two years after being diagnosed with a rare form of cancer.
To help her cope with the grief of losing the sister she describes as “like a twin” Holly, 19, from Llantarnam, near Cwmbran, has started posting a blog about it.
She says it isn’t easy finding people to share your thoughts with when you lose a sibling as a teenager and hopes her blog will help others going through the same experience.
“Over the last two years I’ve really struggled finding people my own age going through the same who I can relate to,” she said.
In “Remembering Emy” Holly includes a heart-rending description of her last moments with Emily and advice on the stages of grief.
She also says it is important to celebrate her big sister, whose own blog Remission Possible, detailing her experience with Burkitts NonHodgkins lymphoma, was read around the globe. From her bed at the University Hospital of Wales, Cardiff, the former Croesyceiliog School pupil also raised money for other young cancer patients and encouraged people to sign up to the Anthony Nolan bone marrow donor register.
Holly, who is now in her first year at Birmingham University, hopes that sharing her story will help others and help her connect with those going through similar grief.
Here are some excerpts from her blog:
“They say your grief heals with time. They lied. Who even is “they”?
“Two years after my crazy big sister left us for heaven I still miss her as much as the day she went. More, even.
“It’s a funny thing, grief surprises me every day. Some days I can talk about her for hours on end, but others I can’t even mention her name without crying. A part of denial, perhaps?
“I talk about her like she’s still here, my way of keeping things the same as they used to be. Things she liked, things she did. Things she’d tell me or do. I talk about it like nothing happened to her. My friends know what I mean. I talk about her like she’s alive, that’s easy to do, it’s talking about life without her, or her death that’s the hard bit.
“One of the hardest things are normal conversations. To everyone else, talking about siblings, especially sisters, seems normal. When your friend says ‘oh my sister/brother “does” this, or “does that”, but I have to say: “my sister did this or that”.
“I’ve learnt over time to say it like a throwaway comment, as if you’re the same as them – you can’t ask people to not talk about their siblings, it’s a part of life.
“Grief doesn’t just affect things to do with Emily or her death, but every part of your life; decisions you make, things you do or say and how you act.
“I’ve always been overly confident, especially for my height (5ft to be precise), Soooo, anxiety? panicking? completely new to me but all a part of this bitch that is grief, and it won’t leave me alone, we’re in it for the long haul.
“Things I never had a problem with before but now are a part of daily life. “It took me a while to realise these are all just responses to grief. “I just thought I was becoming someone I didn’t recognise, but
after worrying and mum tell-
Grief doesn’t just affect things to do with Emily or her death, but every part of your life; decisions you make, things you do or say and how you act