‘I THOUGHT I WAS A BOY UNTIL I WAS 19’
From birth, doctors mistook Lisa-Lee for a male due to a medical condition
AN OPERA singer who was raised as the wrong gender for the first two decades of her life said she is finally coming to terms with her identity following years of abuse.
Lisa-Lee Dark, formerly known as Lee Dark, was born with a rare condition which led to doctors mistaking her for a male for the first 19 years of her life.
Throughout her childhood and teenage years, Swansea-born LisaLee said she struggled to fit in and was tormented by her classmates for being different.
She said the bullying became so severe that she was urinated on, spat at and attacked on a weekly basis – leaving her with agoraphobia and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
“When I was growing up I just wanted to die,” she said.
“Children picked up from a very early age that I was different. I was supposed to be male but I was quite effeminate and I looked more female.
“I was a bit of a loner and my only friend was a girl. I was called all the usual gay names like ‘poof’ and ‘bender’, but on top of all that I was also kicked and punched daily.
“I had people spit in my face, throw bricks and stones at me. Some of the bullies would even throw dog faeces at me or rub it into me.”
When she was 15 years old, LisaLee was told she had an inter-sex medical condition known as congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH).
It leads to an excessive outpouring of the male hormone testosterone during the early part of foetal life.
While her genes are XX female, an inherited faulty gene blocked production of an essential enzyme.
“When I was in my mother’s womb I was overexposed to testosterone which meant my female genitalia was enlarged and looked like a penis,” said Lisa-Lee who lives in Clydach, Swansea.
“It can make it quite easy to mistake newborn girls for boys, although ovaries and womb remain intact.
“The condition is usually picked up very early in life, but in my case it wasn’t. I was told at the age of 15 that I would die from the condition in my mid-20s.
“That news actually made me happy, because I knew I did not have to put up with the abuse for much longer.”
As Lisa-Lee reached her teenage years she began developing breasts, which she claims prompted doctors to pump her full of steroids.
“They thought I had a type of hermaphrodite condition,” she added.
“I just kept on taking the male hormones which led to me gaining 7st in weight. It was really dangerous.
“The only time I felt normal was when I wasn’t taking the steroids.”
Despite being officially recognised as female by medics, Lisa-Lee said she will never truly associate herself with either sex.
“I don’t feel female or male. I feel like I’m in the middle,” she said.
“I suppose I have to learn to accept that I’m more female, although I identify myself as ‘intersexed’.
“I have to deal with a lot of hate from people because they don’t understand this, but I am just ‘me’, a person.
“And I want people to see me as a human being first and foremost.”
Lisa-Lee, who had to leave school a year early because the bullying become so unbearable, said her vulnerability made her easy prey and she suffered sexual abuse.
“I grew up believing I was diseased and toxic.
“I’ve never been able to have any sort of relationship because of that.”
Even though Lisa-Lee’s life was a living hell she managed to keep a big secret from her bullies and abusers.
They never knew that all the time they were trying to break her, she was busy building up a career in the music industry.
She has been recording professionally from the age of nine, but no one knew until she signed her first solo music deal and went public.
She has released several albums and now hopes to push her career on to new heights now that she is overcoming her personal demons.
“If I didn’t have music then I don’t think I’d be alive,” she said.
“Opera lovers have never been hostile towards me or who I am. I have felt accepted by them.”
At the age of 36, Lisa-Lee is now adding her voice to the #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns and has finally sought help from the police for her years of harrowing sexual abuse.
“The officer who dealt with my case, Detective Sergeant Richie Gray, was a complete professional.
“I have nothing but praise for him. He treated me with kindness, respect and dignity, but more importantly he listened to me.
“It’s taken me more than 30 years, but finally someone in authority actually listened to me.
“He even told me I wasn’t worthless when I got upset about old memories. I can never thank him enough.
“He also made sure I understood how important it was that I report everything so the police are aware of what’s going on.
“I didn’t know how I was going to report more than 30 years of abuse and bullying, so I went to Victim Sup-
Children picked up from a very early age that I was different. I was supposed to be male but I was quite effeminate and I looked more female
port and they gave me a support worker.
“She was brilliant and she gave me all the time I needed to talk about everything. Then, when I felt ready, she arranged for me to report everything to the police.
“I also got in touch with Stonewall and they put me in touch with the LGBT Cymru helpline and counselling services. Through them, I have been able to start trauma counselling straight away.”
Lisa-Lee believes the youth of today are now far more accepting of people like herself.
“It’s the youth who are changing the attitudes of their parents. What was hard for me was trying to find a role model who’d been in my situation. I had no one.
“But now I feel more pride in myself and who I am. I’m starting to think of myself as unique – an eccentric misfit.”
It’s the youth who are changing the attitudes of their parents. What was hard for me was trying to find a role model who’d been in my situation. I had no-one LISA-LEE DARK