I TURNED TO CRACK AFTER MURDER OF BOYFRIEND
FORMER drug user Kerry Tutton has revealed that she became addicted to crack and heroin after her boyfriend’s death. She and Wilburn Clarke were madly in love when he was found dead outside a Bristol drug den. Wilburn was not a drug user.
Luther James Richards, then 25, was charged with his murder but was found not guilty on July 14, 1995.
“I had a phone call at 5.30am from a friend in Bristol to say they thought something had happened because police had cordoned the road off,” Kerry said.
She called the force in Bristol. They would not confirm what had happened over the phone so Kerry went to identify the body.
“We were together for three-and-a-half years,” Kerry, now 53, said.
“I was supposed to be going down to see him on the Sunday, but that happened. “It was a horrible situation to be in.” The funeral was held in London, where Wilburn was from.
“He was from Brixton and a good guy,” Kerry said.
“I was in love with him, of course I was. He was my boy.
“You just have to get on with your life. You have to make the best you can of things.”
After his death Kerry started using drugs because they “blocked everything out”.
“I started smoking crack not long after,” Kerry, who lives in Pill, Newport, said.
“After Wilburn died I got friends with a guy from up north and he was smoking.
“He was like, ‘ Do you want to try it?’ And I did.
“He had an addiction and was staying with me on and off.”
The mum of three stopped using crack but carried on drinking and later ended up back on drugs.
“I started smoking again and then I ended up on heroin when I was about 39, 40,” she said.”
She has now been clean years.
“It’s so easy to go and buy drugs when you’re stressed, to block your feelings,” Kerry said.
“But then you are not handling those feelings and you’re still going to have them when you come off the drugs and they will probably be worse because you’re craving the drugs and feeling depressed.
“Those emotions are still going to be there unless you sort them.”
Her lowest point came when she had a fit. “That scared me,” she said.
Still taking drugs “from morning until for seven night” she feared she would “end up dead”. In 2010, aged 46, she sought help from drug charity Kaleidoscope and went on methadone.
“Without Kaleidoscope I would not be the person I am today,” she said. “They have helped me so much.” She has now been off methadone for six years and works as a cleaner for Kaleidoscope.
Before she got in touch with them she would wake every morning feeling ill, thinking about where she would get cash for heroin.
“I looked like a skeleton when I was on drugs. When they put me on methadone I started putting weight on because I was eating again. I went up to about 14 stone. When I started getting fit my weight started coming down.” Kerry is now a regular at the gym. “The exercise helped so much,” she said. “It’s about keeping your mind active. “You have to motivate yourself to get off it.”