DRUGS AND BOOZE NEARLY KILLED ME – A NURSE’S STORY
Former nurse reveals torment of addiction to alcohol and cocaine while looking after sick mother
TO MOST people, Gareth Jones was your average guy – hard-working and happy and living a normal life as a nurse.
But Gareth was living a secret life. When he wasn’t working or caring for his sick mother, Gareth was drinking heavily and taking hard drugs.
In between shifts as a nurse, his life revolved around alcohol and the next high.
When his 20-year marriage failed, Gareth’s addictions became even worse. He would take Ecstasy every weekend and cocaine up to five times a week.
Then, four years ago, when his mother Tegwen became ill, he moved home to Mid Wales.
But when he wasn’t caring for her, he spent his days drinking alcohol and taking cocaine to deal with the stress.
After she died, his substance misuse spiralled. When he sought help, Gareth was told he would have less than a year to live if he didn’t change his life.
He decided it was easier to die than cure his addiction.
But on the day he was going to try to kill himself, he decided to get help instead. From that day on, his life changed.
Now after two years in recovery, Gareth is living in Montgomery, Powys, working for an addiction charity in Welshpool full-time and has a new partner.
His life is now very different – choosing “dry raves” over drug and alcohol binges. But he loves it.
Here, in his own words, is what it’s like to suffer from addiction and how he turned his life around.
GARETH’S STORY...
‘ I am a 56-year-old man, who grew up in Mid Wales in a caring, close and loving family. Neither of my parents or my sibling had any problems with drugs or alcohol and my happy life was quite unremarkable until the age of 13.
In the second year of high school I began to be bullied by a group of boys, probably because I was an academic and studious pupil.
I left home to start nurse training in Cambridge in 1980.
I really enjoyed the practical and academic aspects. What I did enjoy most though, was the social aspect.
At that time drinking, smoking cannabis and the use of LSD and mushrooms was commonplace.
My social circle was comprised of other nursing students, qualified staff, medical staff and university students. At that time, social events seemed to revolve around alcohol, drugs, music and sex. It was easy and socially the norm.
My nursing career progressed. I qualified and quite quickly gained a charge nurse post.
I then began an eight-year period of sobriety from both drugs and alcohol and became involved in sport. I had never felt so good.
When my marriage of 20 years began to fail in 2004, I began drinking heavily again.
Very soon after, I was using MDMA (Ecstasy) every weekend and cocaine four or five times per week.
I decided on a career change, as my lifestyle and nursing were not good bedfellows.
I worked for a company that sold specialist tools, steel and building supplies. I was able to function in this job despite my lifestyle, even rising to the dizzy heights of assistant manager.
Four years ago my mother was becoming increasingly poorly. I decided to move back to Wales, to help my very lovely and tolerant sister with her care.
This was a very stressful time for my family. After making sure I had done everything I could for my mother, I would spend the rest of the day drinking or taking cocaine, until I slept, basically disconnecting from the stress.
I eventually became so depressed I visited my doctor. He suggested I refer myself to Kaleidoscope, my local substance misuse service.
This had been suggested to me before, by a few close friends I had left. I pushed this thought to the back of my mind.
After some time I did refer myself to Kaleidoscope and tried to reduce my alcohol/drug use gradually.
This didn’t work, primarily because I would kid myself and my key worker that I was making progress.
My doctor referred me for tests on my liver and kidneys as I was having distressing symptoms of pain and was experiencing withdrawals if I did not drink alcohol.
The result was the doctor informing me that if I did not change my behaviour, I would only have 10 months, 12 at best, to live.
Rather than shock me, my addictive desire interpreted this information as an opportunity to die “Leaving Las Vegas style” – basically drinking myself to death.
I found myself one morning sitting at the top of a small quarry.
I sat watching the birds thinking this was the last thing I would see, hoping it would be quick and the pain of addiction would end.
I thought about all the lost oppor-
tunities in my life that my use of alcohol and drugs had taken from me.
I thought about my niece and how she would feel after my death. It was then I decided I couldn’t do this to her and my family. I was being, as usual, selfish.
That day I reconnected with Kaleidoscope, arranged to see my GP again and found out about support groups.
I was fortunate enough to have Kaleidoscope as a service. My key worker was tolerant, patient and kind enough to understand I needed more support.
Likewise, my GP was very understanding, taking time to listen to me properly and liaising well with Kaleidoscope.
I was assessed and offered a place at Hafan Wen in Wrexham for detox in October 2015. Hafan Wen was a challenging but amazing experience.
Detox from any substance certainly isn’t a pretty experience. It can be painful both physically and psychologically. But it was one of the most positive things I have ever done.
I soon became a volunteer for Kaleidoscope, Powys Association of Voluntary Organisations, Intuitive Recovery and SMART Recovery.
In November 2016, I was successful in applying for an engagement and support worker role with Kaleidoscope.
Since then, I have been working for Kaleidoscope full time.
In September of last year I com- pleted a return to nursing practice course at Glyndwr University, Wrexham. I am now once again a registered nurse.
My social life is very different to three years ago. I have been clean and sober for two and a half years now.
I rarely, if ever visit pubs; I just don’t need to.
I am active in many recovery communities and have made some truly close friends whom I can call on for anything – most importantly, friends I can have a really good time with. We go camping, attend “Dry Raves”, meet for coffee, go to the cinema and just enjoy a good meal or film.
I still use AA, NA and Smart when I feel I need to. Most importantly, I really truly enjoy life.
When you take the bells and whistles off addiction, it boils down to this – the only reason any human takes any substance is to simply change the way they feel.
Problems arise when the feeling you want to change is a physical or psychological pain, or you just want to remain high or drunk so you don’t have to face the problems of life that you dislike.
This negative change in behaviour creates a disconnect from other humans. You become isolated from family, friends, support and society in general.
Human beings have an innate need to connect with others. Sobriety gives you the ability to connect back. This empowers and enables you to build and maintain a sustain- able recovery.
Two-and-a-half years into recovery and my life is amazing. The connections with my family and friends are the best they have ever been.
I have started doing stand-up comedy again, focusing on the funny aspects of recovery.
I have even fallen in love with the most wonderful, caring and loving person I have ever met. Now that is a turn-up for the books.