Coronavirus HOPES AND FEARS OF MUMS -TO-BE AS COVID-19 SWEEPS UK
PREGNANT women are officially placed among the “vulnerable” people who need to take more care than most during the coronavirus outbreak. Advice from individual health boards has changed on an almost daily basis, with women in some areas now being told their partners cannot be with them during early labour or on the postnatal ward. It’s a far cry from what most couples will have been eagerly imagining and looking forward to, and leaves women facing the prospect of going through much of the process alone.
Here, three women share their experiences of being pregnant during a pandemic.
RUTH MOSALSKI, 32, IS DUE IN APRIL WITH HER FIRST CHILD.
SHE LIVES IN CARDIFF.
It’s just under two weeks since I left work on a half day, fully expecting to see my colleagues again the following morning.
Ahead of our second antenatal class we used the spring sunshine as an excuse to go to Barry Island, have a walk in the sun (and, obviously, eat chips). This was the first of many plans being scrapped: a sign on the door at Barry Hospital saying the class had been cancelled.
We stopped at B&Q on the way home to buy shelves for the nursery and as we left I had a wave of messages from people asking if I was OK. And that was it. I was now classed as high risk, and should stay home.
By 10pm that night, my husband’s boss had (brilliantly) told him he too would be homeworking to protect me. We’re now housebound except for our daily walk which gets slower and slower as I get bigger and bigger and I spend a large percentage of time wondering if popping into our local shop for an ice cream is an essential trip out.
That same week, I had a midwife appointment at my GP surgery and a scan at the Heath hospital. Both were carried out in vastly different circumstances to normal, but I cannot adequately explain how brilliant the midwives have been information.
On good days, my answer to messages asking how we are is that we’re lucky, our baby is kicking away, we have a garden where I can sit in the sun and we’ve had tens of offers of help from friends, colleagues and neighbours. There is a fabulous Facebook group where midwives from all Welsh health boards are posting daily videos with the latest situation and a group of pregnant girls in a WhatsApp group sharing tips. at giving us
I’m still working, which is a brilliant distraction, but as my maternity leave creeps nearer, I’m worried about having too much time to think. While I’d initially moved my maternity leave forward slightly, I’ve now pushed it back just to keep myself busy.
Until this week, I’ve been pretty positive (with weepy moments) but that’s getting harder as the reality hits home. I’m trying not to think about what it could be like if this rolls into May, June or even beyond.
I’m hoping and praying the latest advice from my health board – that could see me go through at least some of labour alone – changes. I dread that my husband could miss any of those crucial hours during or after labour. And given the ever-changing circumstances, I know we just have to wait for the crucial moment to see what’s happening, but the answers we have right now are pretty scary.
Both of our families live hours away. I’m upset for them that they won’t see their grandchild, niece or nephew and cousin and for us that the help we knew we could rely on won’t be there. The classes and dropins that the girls told me would save me on bad days are all cancelled.
But, we’re trying to make the most of it. We know we’re incredibly lucky that, all being well, our team of two will soon become three and we’re going to have quite the first few weeks. And as the child of two journalists, I guess we should have known this baby was always going to be a newsy one.
NERYS MORGAN, 31, IS A PRIMARY SCHOOL TEACHER FROM SWANSEA AND IS 16 WEEKS PREGNANT WITH HER SECOND CHILD.
On Thursday I was due to have a midwife appointment, which I was actually quite looking forward to given I’m not meant to leave the house for any other reason. But the day before, my midwife rang me to do it over the phone.
She told me it was unlikely I’d be having a face-to-face appointment at the surgery until I’m 35 weeks gone and all appointments will be over the phone. One of the things I was looking forward to was hearing my baby’s heartbeat, which of course can’t be done over the phone.
I’m relieved this is my second child because those appointments were a godsend the first time around and a real chance to seek reassurance about all manner of big and little things. I now have a host of questions and there are so many uncertain answers.
At the moment my 20-week scan is to go ahead as planned, but my husband will probably not be allowed to attend. We have been debating whether to find out the sex of the baby, but it’s something we should find out together and it doesn’t seem right finding out without him there.
Scans can also be anxious, waiting to be told everything is looking fine, and not having anyone there won’t help the nerves. And of course the thought of going to a hospital full of sick people when you’ve been identified in the vulnerable category is also a cause for some concern, although I have every faith in the brilliant NHS and the work they are doing to protect us.
My pregnancy is consultant-led and so I am scheduled to have more frequent growth scans than if I was midwife-led. All of a sudden I feel more reassured about having that extra level of care.
In terms of staying indoors, it’s just been a case of getting on with things and trying to fill the days with work and looking after our two-year-old.
I’m not allowed to go to work (even though the school is open for children of key workers) but I can at least prepare online lessons for those learning at home.
I’m due to give birth in September, and at the moment I just hope life will have returned to some sort of normality by then.
CHIARA RINALDI, 36, IS DUE IN JUNE WITH HER SECOND CHILD. SHE’S FROM PORTHCAWL AND LIVES IN CARDIFF.
This week I left the house for the first time in 11 days and finally saw all of the rainbows painted by my neighbours’ children. It was a sanctioned journey to the surgery for an appointment with my midwife.
I was quite shocked when Boris Johnson announced pregnant women were on the list of those who should start social distancing more than others. Up until then I had been reassured by what I’d read. Everything suggested we were at no more risk from the virus than anybody else, when the reality now seems to be that nobody knows.
That day, my pyjama bottoms went on permanently and a newly bought maternity bra went back in the drawer.
We made the difficult decision to take my four-year-old out of school and childcare right away as, despite the official advice, it made no sense for me to lock myself indoors if she was out socialising with 100 other children.
My partner and I are both lucky enough that we can work from home, so the main challenge so far has been the stress of juggling our jobs with looking after our daughter. There is no downtime and it’s tiring. While some parents have been creating home school timetables, we’ve paid £13.99 to download Frozen 2, blown up the paddling pool and let her loose on the House Party app. But I’ve no doubt she’ll emerge unscathed.
This has certainly not been the pregnancy I imagined. I’ve never been one of those women who loves being pregnant. I’ve lost my appetite, my craving is wine and, just like the first time round, I spent the first trimester sick as a dog. When the sickness stopped in the second trimester, it was immediately replaced by a shattering family health diagnosis that was to take over life for some weeks. Then, the third trimester timed with the lockdown. At least his memory box will be interesting!
While I’m grateful for being pregnant, I haven’t had much time to think about it, which perhaps isn’t