‘The way I was treated made me blame myself for my abuse, feel guilty for reporting it and made me leave my degree behind because I no longer feel safe...’
Student claims she was ‘let down by police and university’ after alleged rape ordeal
A WOMAN said she was left with post-traumatic stress disorder and had to abandon her studies after being raped in Cardiff.
The woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, has criticised the police and a Welsh university for the way they handled her case, believing they failed to take her seriously.
“I feel I have never got any closure after what happened,” the woman said.
The former student was on a year abroad when she moved to South Wales to study in September 2018.
“Although I struggled a lot with the idea of being so far away from my family and friends, I didn’t let that stop me, because I love travelling and adventure. I thought the experience would help me to become more independent,” she said.
The alleged incident happened in March 2019 at a house in Cathays.
She said she headed home after a night out, but realised she had forgotten her keys. She said she asked a friend if she could stay at his home until she could get into her own flat.
“Shortly after dozing off, I began to feel his hands on my body,” she recalled. “I pushed him away and tried to make it clear I did not want any physical contact. I said repeatedly I just wanted to go to sleep.”
She said he climbed on top of her, undid her top and sexually assaulted her.
“I was paralysed with fear at this point,” she said. “I remember saying multiple times: ‘What are you doing? Why are you doing this?’ He proceeded to take off my jeans.”
She said he sexually assaulted her again – and then raped her.
“I was paralysed,” she said. “I was clearly shaking and saying nothing, until I said: ‘ What are you doing to me?’ For the fourth or fifth time.
“Eventually he stopped, rolled over to face the wall and said nothing to me.”
The student said she contacted her flatmate, told them “something bad” had happened and she needed to meet them.
She said she ignored his phone calls and blocked his number and social media accounts. She met up with her flatmate and told them everything.
“Immediately after the incident, I mostly felt empty and helpless. Being away from your family makes the situation even more difficult,” she said.
“I didn’t really know how to get help. You hear about these things happening, but you never think about what you would do if it were to happen to you.
“At first, I did not intend to report the incident to the police as I felt it would ruin his life. Also I was in such a fragile state, I thought it would be too much for me.”
The student went to A&E and was sent to the Sexual Assault Referral Centre. The woman described the forensic examination as “extremely invasive and scary”.
After spending six weeks at home, she came back to South Wales. She went into the city centre with a friend and saw the man whom she said raped her.
“I felt fear for myself and all the other women around me,” she said. “That is when I decided I had to report this.”
She reported the matter to the university and was given a support appointment the following day.
The woman then went back to the Sexual Assault Referral Centre – which was holding her initial report and DNA evidence – and said she wanted to go to the police.
She said the case was taken to South Wales Police, but she believes it was “mishandled” and she felt blamed for the attack.
The student said she was advised at the referral centre she would have to have two interviews – one with a local police officer, and one with a detective.
She said she was told they would not take place on the same day as that would be “too much”, but they actually happened within an hour of each other.
The woman said she felt “incredibly rushed” and expressed a preference to provide a written account rather than having a formal spoken interview.
“It was incredibly hard for me to speak about this incident,” she said. “Due to some cultural and language barriers, I felt this would be the best option.”
She said she was persuaded to have a recorded spoken interview, but feels she would have been able to express herself more clearly in writing.
She claimed the way police handled her case was “unprofessional”.
She said her case was closed in less than 24 hours and not passed to the Crown Prosecution Service.
The woman said the detective called her and went to her home to tell her there was not enough evidence to prove her case to a jury at court.
She said she was told the alleged perpetrator could not have known she did not consent because she did not use the word “no”.
The student said the detective pointed out she went to the man’s house and told her she was not “drunk enough” to be unable to know what was happening.
“This is a complete case of victim blaming, making me feel as if I had done something wrong by reporting,” she said. “I was shamed for what I did that night, even though I was a victim of a crime.”
The woman added: “[This] treatment has made me blame myself for my abuse, feel guilty for reporting it and has made me leave my degree behind because I do not feel safe any longer.
“Placing any sort of blame on the victim of a crime, regardless of whether or not you will be able to prove the crime, can do irreversible damage to a person’s mental health.
“In turn, it will only deter victims from reporting these kinds of crimes.
“I can say with honesty after this experience, I did not feel protected by South Wales Police and that is why I never returned to finish my degree.”
She said the police gave her a list of options for support after closing her case, but did not contact her further.
The student left Wales last year and has not been back since.
She said by the end of May last year a detailed account was sent to the student cases team, but she felt “failed” by the university, claiming they “overlooked” her complaint.
The woman said the university began an investigation on June 14 last year, but that it did not respond to requests for updates.
She received an apology, assuring her the case was being taken seriously, and had a formal interview with the university in September.
The student said she was told she could expect an update at the end of October, but has still not received any real update or been given a reason for the delays. Her case is still open.
“I have no idea as to the true reasons for any hold-ups and continue to be left in the dark,” she said.
“I feel let down knowing that he
[her attacker] is still posing a risk to university students.”
The woman made a complaint to South Wales Police and asked for her case to be reviewed, but said she did not get a response.
She said she made the request for her case to be reviewed on October 1 last year, but did not hear anything until five months later on February 2.
The student said she was told they could not see a way around the decision to close her case.
She said she has sent hundreds of emails in the last year to the police and university.
She feels like the alleged perpetrator has been able to “run away” from the case while she had to “fight it head on”.
She said she was grateful her department did suggest ways for her to finish her degree remotely, but she was struggling with her mental health and receiving treatment at the time.
“Unfortunately I had to tell the university that would not work for me,” she said. “I was in no place to be completing outstanding assignments due to mental health issues.”
The student was told she could take an interruption of study, which she is currently doing.
She said the other option was to withdraw, but that would have meant she would not get any money back, having paid for her studies in full.
Reflecting on the impact on her mental and physical health, she said: “That’s probably the most difficult thing to express. I now struggle with severe post-traumatic stress disorder.”
She is seeing a psychotherapist after suffering from regular panic attacks, struggling to sleep and having nightmares.
The woman said she has problems being alone with men, which can even be triggered by her long-term partner.
She said: “I am suffering from mental health problems, in part due to my rape, but also from the pain of continually having to recount my trauma and not being believed. I am not able to move on with my life.”
The student had to find a job, as she was struggling financially after paying $17,500 on tuition fees and more than $7,000 on rent and bills.
“I have wasted thousands of dollars on a degree I will likely never receive,” she said. “I used my life savings to study, so I’ve been working full-time to make up for those losses, all while trying to heal.”
She added: “My life is forever changed by what happened. If any good can come from it in that I am helping future victims feel they can come forward that will give my experience some purpose.”
A spokesman for South Wales Police said: “In May 2019, South Wales Police received a report of a serious sexual offence.
“A review of the investigation is ongoing to determine whether further action will be taken against the suspect in this case.”
A spokeswoman for the university said: “The university does not comment on individual cases. What we can say is we take all cases of this nature very seriously and we have robust procedures to investigate concerns about a student’s conduct.
“Where an investigation demonstrates that a breach of our rules of behaviour has occurred, a wide range of sanctions are available.
“There are a number of factors that can influence the time it takes to complete an investigation and we endeavour to keep everyone informed.
“We recognise the importance of each case to our students and we have a complaint process if students are dissatisfied about the way in which their concerns have been dealt with.”
If you, or someone you know, has been affected by sexual violence, visit the Live Fear Free website or call the helpline on 0808 80 10 800.