10-YEAR BATTLE TO ADOPT BROTHERS
Couple tell of 10-year battle to adopt brothers
AN OCEAN apart and worlds away from the coastal town of Llanelli, Lindsey and Glen Smith were living in Central America when they experienced love at first sight.
The couple were with their fouryear-old son Lucas in Belize, a country plagued by poverty and highcrime rates.
Lindsey’s husband Glen was stationed in the army there, and she was so moved by the poverty she saw that she wanted to look for work helping people.
The mum, who had previously worked in the army herself, volunteered in a local orphanage when she locked eyes with a little five-year-old boy with a cheeky smile, called Abner.
“As soon as I saw him, there was this instant connection, there was this feeling – it’s not something I can really explain, there was a parental feeling and an instant bond,” said Lindsey.
After volunteering with the local children and introducing Abner to Lucas, the family’s bond grew and within only a couple of months, the couple decided that they could not imagine their lives without him.
Lindsey, who is originally from Llanelli, and her husband Glen then faced years of hardships and setbacks in the process of trying to adopt Abner, with numerous agencies telling them that it was nearly impossible and to give up due to the fact that the couple already had their son Lucas, who was around the same age.
“There were problems because we thought Lucas and Abner were the same age, which causes complications in some adoptions. Abner’s birth wasn’t registered, we didn’t know much about his history except that his mum couldn’t cope, but we later found out that Abner was actually a year older than Lucas,” said Lindsey.
But perhaps one of the biggest surprises came in the form of another little boy with a wide-eyed smile named Asher – Abner’s younger brother.
“The agency we were working with got in touch around a year or so after we started the process and said Abner’s little brother was available for adoption, and would we consider taking him as well.
“We went back to Belize to meet Asher and again felt this instant, amazing connection, and I felt like these were my sons,” said the 37-yearold.
The couple were then relocated to Germany, but promised the boys and each other that one day they would be living together as a family.
Years of social worker visits, trips back and forth to courses in London, and meetings with panels followed and the couple admitted that at one point it felt like their family would never be complete.
“There were a couple of times that we thought this is just never going to happen for us because everything was taking so long, but because of our military backgrounds we were determined. We spurred each other on and I thought – I’ve got to fight this.
“We knew it was going to be hard work but you do whatever you have to for your children. I promised them we’d be together, and I was prepared to fight for them.”
After nearly a decade of paperwork, checks, workshops and trips back and forth to Belize to see their sons, the couple were finally in front of a panel of 10 experts who gave them that final green light.
“We’d been waiting so long that when the panel said everything was OK, it was such an amazing feeling, but part of me still couldn’t believe it was really happening.
“And then when we got to Belize and saw them again and we were bringing them home, I still don’t think I was registering that we’d finally be together.
“I remember the boys broke their hearts as well and couldn’t believe it when they saw us that everything was finally happening.”
In 2018, nearly 10 years after Lindsey and Glen first met five-year-old Abner, they finally touched down in the UK with the two boys.
“It was really emotional, there were tears. We threw a big party with all the family because some of them hadn’t met the boys before. But it all felt so natural, like finally my life was complete, and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.”
Abner who is now 15 and his younger brother Asher, 13, live with the couple and their brother Lucas, 14, in Shrewsbury but have perfectly slipped into school and family life in the UK.
“They’re not shy, they instantly connected with all the family. They’re both characters, and have made friends and are doing well in school.
“One day they were having an athletics lesson doing shotput and javelin and Abner said ‘what’s that stick?’ – he’d never seen one before. And then he picked it up and threw it the length of the field, further than anyone else – their mouths dropped,” laughed Lindsey.
Like most other families across the UK, the teenagers, who were supposed to be sitting some of their GCSE exams this year, are currently in lockdown, but are making the most of spending time together as a family.
But the mum-of-three has also set herself the challenge of running 1,407km – the length of Great Britain – during lockdown to raise money for the NHS amidst the coronavirus pandemic.
“They’ll be older in a couple of years, so we’re just trying to spend as much time together as we can now. But it is tough in lockdown with three teenage boys, no wonder I’m running so much.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way, it’s been a long time coming but I look at my three boys and I’m so happy, it feels like my life and family is complete.”
The couple have said that they are able to have biological children, but felt the need to help the children already living in the world.
“There’s enough people in the world really, isn’t there?
“There are so many children already in the world that need help and I would try and save them all if I could. As a family, we’ve got so much love to give.”
But the family aren’t finished yet and the couple say that one day they would love to adopt again, so Lindsey’s not the only girl in the family.