THEY SAID WHAT?

“What it comes down to is that finding a good president is just as hard as finding a good plumber”

Playwright Tom Stoppard

“Remember the golden rule of politics: Never kick a man until he is down” Advice given to a new MP by Labour’s Sir Gerald Kaufman, who has just died

“Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them”

Jasper Carrott

“The Labour Party needs to sit in a corner and have a word with itself. It needs a smack about the face. A serious wet fish to the chops. A shaking”

Labour MP Jess Phillips, below

“I don’t know how many packets of crisps the Prime Minister consumes per week, per day or per month, but she will be giving them up” Downing Street spokesman on Theresa May’s decision to give up this snack for Lent

“I have a borderline dangerous obsession with Strictly Come Dancing. I’m not sure my ageing disco hips could take on the might of the last few years’ contestants they blow my mind how good they are and how hard they work”

TV presenter Zoe Ball on the prospect of another appearance

in the show

“I promise a new chapter of American greatness. The time for small thinking is over”

President Donald Trump