Facing up to my addiction by having Facebook-free days
COLUMNIST
NEXT year will mark 10 years of me being on Facebook. I dread to think how many days of my life (literally) have been spent scrolling up and down my news feed. Whether it be refreshing a page to see if I have a notification or looking at the holiday photos of someone I went to school with – I know I have wasted time.
This is time I could have used doing all those things I tell myself I have no time to do like learn a language or see my actual friends face to face.
What is even more frustrating is that the holiday photos I am sitting on my sofa scrolling through belong to someone I didn’t even bother talking to when we shared a desk at school, so why am I now looking at them and their pregnant girlfriend in Lanzarote?
Only in the last few months have I realised that I am, in fact, addicted to Facebook. Not addicted the same way as someone who is a drug addict. You’re not going to see a group of Facebook addicts huddled round a burning barrel in a park planning how to get their next like.
However in a very real way I have come to depend on Facebook. I find myself checking back to see if I have notifications and getting it out while I am queueing.
The time I realised I had a problem came when I was out to dinner with three mates.
These are three mates who I love dearly and enjoy the company of immensely. Indeed, every time we are together we always say things like: “It is such a shame we now all work and can’t see each other as much.”
Despite this, as we were laughing and joking over mango chutney laden poppadoms I found myself withdrawing my phone from the pocket to absentmindedly check Facebook.
Not only that, but once I had committed this complete dereliction of conversation and politeness I then left the phone on the table!
It was only later when I was walking home (not checking my phone because it was out of battery) that I realised what I had done.
That got me wondering and I started to take note of how often I was checking my phone in a day. I am genuinely too embarrassed to put the actual figure in print but suffice to say, it is a lot.
Like any millennial with a problem my first port of call was to check the internet for answers. I spent hours reading up on the idea of social media addiction (I could have done it a lot quicker but I noticed a Facebook notification where someone had tagged me in a meme and lost 30 minutes).
The best thing I came across was a man named Tristan Harris. He is known as the “closest thing Silicon Valley has to a conscience”.
I encourage you to check out his work but there was one part that really struck a chord with me.
Essentially it is completely unsurprising that myself and millions of other are addicted to social media. And not just to Facebook but to Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and many others.
The reason for this is simple. Social media platforms are not rewarded for how good they make your life or how much you enjoy being on them. They are financially rewarded for making you spend time on their app. The more time you spend on their app, the more cash they make.
That means that as you look at Facebook, behind your screen there are thousands of engineers. These very clever, well-paid and innovative people are all working towards one goal – keeping you looking at their app.
There are lot of ways they do this. Have you ever noticed when you turn on your Facebook app there is a half-second delay before the notifications appear? Well that is deliberate. That half second makes you more likely to start scrolling. It makes it impossible for you to just glance at the app, you have to interact with it.
This is just one of many ways that these apps, who are all competing with each other for your time, keep you looking at them instead of the competition (and god forbid your loved ones).
When I realised my addiction to this platform my first instinct was to just delete my account; but this presents three problems.
Firstly, I have friends who I only keep in touch with through Facebook – especially the ones who live abroad.
Secondly, I literally can’t do my job as a reporter without it. I have to contact people and promote stories. Thirdly, lots of my social events are arranged through Facebook. It is, therefore, very hard for me just to delete my account.
Determined not to let the 1,000 engineers win I have adopted a few strategies. The main one is telling everyone I know on Facebook that I will only be checking occasionally and if they need to speak to me they should call or text.
This eliminates the “what if I miss something anxiety”. The people that matter have my number. There is no such thing as an urgent Facebook message.
The other tactic is to have Facebook-free days. One of the key aims of platforms is to make people seven-day users. A free day once or twice a week breaks the cycle and the dependence.
It is too early to say if any of this has worked – but I promise you Zuckerberg, I won’t let you win.
Abbie Wightwick is away.