‘Yes I was abused, but past won’t determine my future’
Awoman who was sexually abused aged just six has spoken out for the first time to try and encourage victims to come forward.
Emma Lewis, 37, has relinquished her legal right to anonymity to reveal how she was abused from a young age but didn’t tell anyone until she was a teenager about what had happened.
She said: “I had parents that had an alcohol addiction and the individual I was left with was exposed to and witnessed a number of unhealthy sexualised behaviours and felt the need to carry out some of the things they’d seen. It probably carried on for about six months to a year, but it happened on more than one occasion.
“I didn’t disclose that behaviour until I was 12 years old having the obligatory conversation in the girls’ toilets with the girls about how far you’d gone with a boy.
“It became apparent then that what had happened wasn’t normal behaviour.
“I disclosed to a friend what had happened and she advised me and encouraged me to speak to my foster carers, which I did, and I was really fortunate that the relevant authorities and the police were involved quite quickly, and that the systems and the procedures I went through were fair and the processes were quite quick with non-judgment.
“I was treated with the kindness, care and respect that a 12-year-old should be and I was fortunate to be able to move on with my life.”
At first, she found it hard to accept what had happened to her, but she doesn’t want to let her abuse define her.
She said: “I have massive amounts of my childhood that I don’t remember. I was taken into care, and had quite a few traumatic issues with my father dying, my mother dying when I was 20.
“It’s not something that I’m going to dwell on. My abuse is just something that happened to me. It happens to many different people and I just happen to be a professional woman who happens to say ‘yes I was abused, whatever happened in my past won’t determine my future’. It’s as simple as that.
“For a long time in my life, although I had been abused, it hadn’t been who I was, and it isn’t who I am. The important thing is, as long as I speak up on behalf of other people for them to come forward, I’m more than happy to do that.
“But I think it’s letting society know that sexual abuse of children doesn’t just happen in deprived areas, it can happen in all walks of life in all families.”
Now Emma, from Swansea, is a community support worker and is part of an inquiry into child sexual abuse.
She is taking part in the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse, which was set up by Theresa May in the wake of the Jimmy Savile scandal to examine whether institutions had fulfilled their responsibility to protect children.
The inquiry, led by Professor Alexis Jay, is using a novel way of gathering accounts from those who may have suffered at the hands of child sexual abuse. The Truth Project gives individuals who experienced sexual abuse as a child the chance to privately describe what happened to them and how institutions failed to protect them. They are also welcome to make suggestions about what can be done to prevent the same abuse occurring in the future.
Anonymous information gathered in Truth Project sessions will be used to shape the inquiry’s recommendations to the Government about how institutions can better protect children from sexual abuse.
Two more Truth Project hubs in Caernarfon and Bangor are set to be opened in October.
Now Emma has been appointed as a new member of Victims and Survivors’ Consultative Panel on the inquiry to share her experience, and encourage others to talk about theirs.
She said: “I am now a community development worker, and I have been for 18 years. I left school with very few qualifications, I’ve worked in many different sectors, different voluntary organisations.
“My job is to support communities and help people make positive decisions in their lives.
“I think from my experience, there are far too many people taking their abuse to their graves. I’m aware of children who have self-harmed, children that made numerous suicide attempts because of their abuse. Also adults keep hold of this for a long time because of the stigma surrounding child sexual abuse.
“It’s the shame and the guilt and the confusion that causes that, but also the lack of family or societal understanding. People who are seen as challenging feel they’re not going to be believed.
“It’s really important that we let these people know, no matter where you’re from in England and Wales that you will be believed and you can come forward and we will listen.
“The Truth Project has many different bases around Wales to come forward and speak about your experiences in a safe and nurturing environment where you won’t be judged.”
Drusilla Sharpling, inquiry panel member and Head of the Truth Project said: “We want to make sure we hear the voices of victims and survivors from as many places as possible. It would be very difficult to do that in our public hearing, so the Truth Project provides a facility to let survivors come forward and share their experience.
“From the feedback we’ve got so far, that suggests that victims and survivors found it empowering. For so many of them, they’ve tried to report these terrible things that have happened to them to institutions in the past and maybe they haven’t had the service they ought to have had. It’s really important for us to gather those voices and that we learn from them.”