MODERN FAMILY
WITH a screaming newborn in one arm and the phone in the other, my mum could just about make out my plea for help through our sobs (mine were probably louder than his).
My four-day-old son was not following the rule books that I had pored over and researched in the weeks and months leading up to his much-anticipated birth.
He was not self-soothing, he was not sleeping when they said he would and nothing we were doing seemed to stop him from crying.
She might have been hundreds of miles away on the other end of a phone line, but mum talked lots of common sense to me that night. She was right when she pointed out that he was probably completely starving and tried to talk me into giving him a bottle.
But that is not what the “experts” said you should do, so I didn’t listen.
The reality was very, very different. They don’t warn you about the effects not sleeping for more than 48 hours can have on your body, especially when you are the sole carers of a new person who is completely reliant on you.
They don’t take into account that each child is different. Generations of parents have turned to books for advice over the years, but the thing is – beyond anecdotal evidence – we don’t actually know whether these books or expert advice really work for you.
It is no surprise that there is a link between their use and an increased likelihood of symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Countless parents find themselves questioning at 3am whether their baby is feeding too much, if they should be sleeping through the night by now, and wondering if there is anything else they should be doing differently.
The growth of social media hasn’t helped either, people only tend to share the positive, with contented babies smiling for the camera.
More than a decade on, and the verge of the teen years has left me feeling out of my depth again. Just as you congratulate yourself on passing one milestone, another challenge comes speeding along behind it.
It is still easy to be concerned about the latest report or expert finding.
This week it is a new report saying that the number of young teenagers who play outside, read books or get enough sleep has dropped sharply.
They are concerned that the rapid digital growth in recent years is having a detrimental effect on our childrens’ lives.
The amount of time the children spend on their tablets and consoles is a worry, but it does need a common sense approach.
Building work on our house meant that the games console had to be packed away at the start of the school holidays. It wasn’t there and couldn’t be unpacked, so the children didn’t miss it.
New technologies can broaden horizons and provide new opportunities, but we do need to make sure that it is all in moderation.
Times do change, each generation has different challenges, but at least I have learned the hard way that mum really does know best.