MORNING SERIAL

THIS was a shared outpouring of both the acceptance and defiance of anguish.

Even simply to endure in the face of grief is a courageous thing. But to do more than endure, to sing like this, to make this transfiguring sound, was something beyond courage: it was a redemption of our right to be. I knew then that whatever else happened, Aberfan – this place, these men, all of us – had the right to go on. For the first time I felt not just an affection for my home village, but a deep pride in it. At least this one aspect of the indistinct anxieties that had hovered at the edge of my thoughts, and found expression in my dreams, could be laid to rest. I never again dreamed that the pit would swallow us, and I think it was because of that night, because of the choir. I stopped dreaming that the pit would swallow us because this music had taught me that we had a right to be here. These men singing in front of us had purchased that right, over and over. For the first time in my life I was proud of something outside of myself and I realised that I was surrounded by multiple essences of the best that human beings could be. I realised, too, that although grief endures, so does love.

Walking with my Father When I was around the age of nine, my father got into the habit of taking me on long weekend walks around the village. The old cinema had by now closed its doors for good and I had more time on my hands. Sometimes Gareth came along and sometimes it was just the two of us, my father and I.

The first step was to gather provisions so we stopped first at the Berni’s café where Dad would pick up twenty Players and a bag of Raspberry Ruffles, and I got my two ounces of wine gums in a paper bag. It had to be wine gums for a walk. I’d take a look at the variety of colours so that I could eat them in reverse order of preference, whilst pacing myself carefully so that they would last the whole of the way. Green wine gums would be eaten first, as we set out, since green was my least favourite. I never understood why they bothered making the green ones in the first place; nobody could like them, surely?