MODERN FAMILY

YOU can tell we are nearly halfway through the month because the other half sits himself down at the computer with a lot of pomp and ceremony for his “admin” catch-up.

This usually involves a lot of huffing and puffing, questions over why I had to go to two supermarkets in one day, and ends with a lecture on tightening our belts and making savings.

It has got worse in recent months as we come to terms with the fact we are trying to feed two boys who just keep growing and growing and growing.

I could definitely apply for a second job in the secret service as I can hear the fridge door being opened from the most distant part of the house, I can leap into action with the slightest sound of a sweetie wrapper being opened, and the treat box is so well hidden even I forget where it is sometimes.

The children seem to have continually empty tummies and hollow legs. You can’t even tell them eating between meals will ruin their tea, because it never, ever does.

Adult-size pasta portions disappear in an instant, and then if you are lucky it is a break of about five minutes before they are asking for pudding, or supper, or a snack between snacks.

Son junior’s moods seem to be set depending on how hungry he is. You have to run for cover if his blood sugar levels get too low, which is why I go fully armed to the school gates in the afternoon and tea is always at 5pm.

I know I am not alone. My cousin has to do her shopping either under cover of darkness or when her two teenage sons are at school and safely out of the way.

“Otherwise, they eat most of it before I have even had time to unpack the car,” she warned me the other day. “I left a full packet of biscuits unguarded the other day and in the time it took me to go out and collect the next bag, they were gone. They ate a complete packet in a matter of seconds! Not even a crumb.”

Shopping in discount supermarkets and making sure that all the food we use goes a long way and there are no leftovers has helped save some pennies.

But my husband despairs when within a week the cupboard is once again bare.

It is difficult keeping an eye on the finances while making sure that the food they are eating is suitable and healthy.

This week health experts have warned that Britain needs to go on a diet as we need to slash our calorie intake.

It is a real worry that obesity rates in the UK are among the worst in Europe and two-thirds of adults and a third of children are overweight or obese.

It is important to educate the children on how to eat healthily and make sure they are eating the right type of foods.

So, what to do? Maybe the only option is to try to fill the kids up with the most filling, and slow-burning high GI nosh available. Maybe intermittent bowls of porridge during the day, and a porridge drip for the night?