MODERN FAMILY
THE increase in excessive sighing, dramatic eye-rolling and tears (often mine) can only mean one thing – exam time is on the horizon.
The children are sitting their national reading and numeracy tests at the start of next month and I am torn between not piling on the pressure on one hand, and making sure that they do enough practice and revision to be sure they give it their best shot on the other.
Trying to get my teenager to do something he really, really doesn’t want to do reminds me of the tense hours spent sitting at our kitchen table with my own mum, who was a teacher.
She would invest a lot of time trying to teach me the workings of the periodic table and basic algebra.
At my younger son’s school they call them quizzes rather than tests, and make sure they have treats and extra playtimes during the test period.
But when I sit down with him to try a “quiz” he usually just repeats the phrase “I don’t know how to do it”, “I don’t know how to do it” when a practice paper is put in front of him.
It can have me, never mind them, tearing my hair out as I veer from being concerned about pushing them too much, to not doing enough.
Relatives with young families in other parts of the country have been talking about the importance of having a tutor as they prepare for arduous high school entrance exams.
They say that everyone has at least one person helping.
We don’t have to deal with that level of pressure, but there is still the drive to make sure they give it their best.
In my heart, though, I prefer to listen to the head teacher of a prestigious private preparatory in London who has complained this week about how some parents are putting academic success above their child’s health and happiness.
Helen Lowe has warned of the dangers of signing youngsters up to extra tutoring sessions just because other parents are doing so, arguing that some children are being “corralled” into weekly maths and English classes lasting two to three hours to help them pass school entry exams.
I know my younger son would see being sent to extra classes as a punishment, and more school would affect his confidence.
Besides, pushing his sporting and musical interests outside school are just as important.
Helen Lowe says that supporting your child at home and spending time with them is far more powerful than any session with a tutor.
It is good to hear, even if there is still that little niggle that you are letting your children down in some way and that you might regret not doing enough for them.
At the end of the day one of the most important ways of helping them to shape their futures is making sure they are happy and healthy.