MORNING SERIAL

“DUNNO. Won’t say.”

“He’s been somewhere bad, Iola,” Cher says, seriously. “That’s what it is. He doesn’t want to think about it.”

Sometimes Cher’s clever again. Sometimes it’s like she’s going back to normal.

“He’s moved my stuff out to the shed,” she says. She says it with a big smile. As if it’s a good thing.

“Cher that’s terrible,” I say. “Why?” she says.

“It’s cold and damp in there. It’s not a place for someone to sleep!”

She looks at me like I’m mad. “I always wanted to be allowed in,” she says, as if I’m the stupid one, “And now I am. I’m allowed the shed. And Pigeon has the house.”

Poor Cher. She’s so thick sometimes. And then other times she’s so clever I think she knows it all.

We follow the path down to school, carrying on as if nothing’s happened, as if nothing’s ever happened, as if there’s nothing wrong, and as if I’ve got all the right in the world to my life and my marks at school, and Cher doesn’t and that’s why she’s got just a shed.

It’s a couple of long, plain weeks before Pigeon comes to my house again. The next time I see him, it’s on the anniversary of when Gwenllian, my mam, died. No one else thinks about the date anymore. Not even Efa. Especially not Efa who won’t let me speak about either Gwenllian or our dad, but I remember the date every year. Seventh of May. I learnt it. It says it on the stone in the graveyard and so I learnt it, and I remember every year. I usually go there, to see her although I don’t have much to say to her. She didn’t stick around for long did she? She didn’t properly meet me, and I didn’t properly meet her. How can you miss someone you didn’t know? It doesn’t make sense. But I do. I miss her so much it’s like not being able to breathe. Not like with Dad. With Dad I’m angry. He left on purpose.

I’m just about to head out to see Gwenllian when Pigeon arrives at the door. There’s a feeling of things sinking suddenly, in a way I can’t stop.

> Pigeon is the winner of the Wales Book of the Year and the Rhys Davies Fiction Prize. Published by Parthian

CONTINUES TOMORROW