RACHAEL’S HEARTBREAKING MEMOIR MISSION FOR SON
ABBC presenter says she is in a “race against time” to finish a memoir for her two-year-old son as she fights incurable cancer.
Rachael Bland, from Creigiau, near Cardiff, was diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2011 and said that she has now been told she has less than a year to live.
In May, the BBC Radio 5 live presenter and newsreader was told her cancer was incurable and that her only hope was through a clinical trial.
But just two months later a scan showed the cancer had spread.
Writing in the Sunday Telegraph , Rachael said her book for her twoyear-old son Freddie would contain “all the stories and advice I would have given Fred... but won’t be around to do in person”.
Rachael, 40, said: “I’ve not asked how long I have left, because I don’t want a number in my head that I’m counting down to. It’s only ever a best guesstimate – but I’ve got less than a year.”
She added: “I hugged my beautiful son, Freddie, and told him I was so sorry. I felt so guilty to think I’d be leaving him without a mother.”
Rachael, who co-hosts the podcast You, Me and the Big C, said she is currently not on any active treatment. The newsreader said she is not on official leave from Radio 5 Live, but has been unable to work for the last few weeks due to breathing issues.
She told the Sunday Telegraph: “I’m not scared of dying. I only fear for those I leave behind. For my darling Freddie, who’ll be three next month, for Steve and our families. Even now, knowing the ‘no options left’ conversation is coming, I can’t crumble and fall to pieces.
“I have to suppress a lot of the darkest thoughts about Freddie growing up without his mummy around. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the precious times we have left together.
“I still want to take joy from the moments when he turns to me, as he has begun to the last few weeks and says: ‘Oh, I missed you Mummy. I love you so much’.
“Steve and I don’t discuss how he’ll cope without me, but we do talk about all the things I want him to do with Freddie when I’m gone. He’s quite an emotional man, so I know he’ll do a lot of crying. But he is also the most amazing father and will keep going and stay strong for our son’s sake.”
After suffering from pain under her arm in 2016, Rachael found a lump. She said she was “stunned” when they told her it was cancer, but the doctors said her prognosis was “very good”.
After a lumpectomy tests showed a large area of cancer was left behind, and after a full mastectomy two months later another “huge” tumour had grown back. The cancer later spread to Rachael’s lymph nodes, and that her best hope was an early phase clinical trial.
After “high hopes” for one trial, Rachael’s cancer had progressed above the limit to stay on the trial.
Now Rachael is in a “race against time” to finish a memoir for her son Freddie.
She said: “As my husband and I only met six years ago, there are entire sections of my life he won’t be able to tell Freddie about. And even the bits we’ve done together we remember very differently!
“I’ve always wanted to write a book, and what better book to write than the memoir of my life for my son?
“I feel writing is the best way I can get my personality across to him. For Freddie, then, is my love letter to my beautiful boy that I hope will leave the imprint of me and my love for him around him forever.
“It contains all the stories and the advice that I would have given Fred over the years, but won’t be around to do in person. I hope he will come back to it through his life and it will resonate in different ways at different stages. Writing it has made me laugh, smile and cry in equal measure.”
A BBC presenter for more than 15 years, Rachael started a blog at the end of 2016 called Big C. Little Me , as a way to share her progress and help others.
She said: “When you’re diagnosed with cancer, it can be frightening and lonely and, sometimes, it can make a world of difference just to know the feelings and thoughts you’re having are normal.”