THEY SAID WHAT?

“I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is” – Johnny Vegas.

“You cannot pursue peace by a cycle of violence. The only way you pursue peace is a cycle of dialogue”

– Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

“The number of new social rented homes is at a record low but there is no new money to increase supply, and ministers are still preventing local authorities run by all parties from building the council homes their communities need”

– Shadow Housing Secretary John

Healey describing the Government’s new deal on social housing

as “pitiful”.

“Never mind... spandex going back in the drawer”

– Astronaut Tim Peake jokes on learning that he is not to be a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing “In what other workplace would you need to specify you can’t bring in prostitutes?”

– Labour MP Sarah Champion reacts to the news that MPs who bring prostitutes into Parliament will be sacked.

“It’s crazy how unsafe the UK has become - so much more so than 10 years ago”

– Formula One heiress Petra Ecclestone, who is moving to Los Angeles because she no longer feels safe in the UK.

“I hope we don’t ban the burka. On seeing myself in the mirror this morning, I am thinking of getting one”

– Doreen Mills, of Ferring, West Sussex, in a letter to the Daily Mail.