THE REAL ISSUES AFFECTING OUR CHILDREN
Children’s Commissioner Sally Holland says children are facing an ever increasing number of challenges. WILL HAYWARD finds out more...
Waiting up to three years for counselling after being raped, social media addiction, growing obesity levels, increasing inequality, pressures to succeed in school, tuition fees, never getting on the housing ladder, more children in care and unachievable body images are just some of the issues facing young children in Wales today.
This is the message from Children’s Commissioner Professor Sally Holland in her annual report as she hits the halfway point in her seven year stint in the role.
To say children in Wales face challenges is, frankly, an enormous understatement.
The rise of digital age, decline of public services and obesity time bomb are challenges previous generations did not have to face.
On top of this they are face with issues that have been ever present like poverty and rampant inequality.
However these are not just “children” problems. They are parents problems, they are society’s issues, they are our issues.
Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and mental health
Have you ever walked into a queue in a shop and just pulled your phone out while you waited?
Have you ever had your phone out during a meal or sitting on a table when you are grabbing a coffee with a friend?
Have you ever seen a conversation online escalate into insults?
The chances, even in the last week, this has happened to you.
Despite now being such common occurrences, two decades ago, these situations literally could not happen.
According to Prof Holland, parents (and society generally) are struggling to catch up with the pace of change.
She said: “A real change in our society that we have seen in the last decade is how children’s and adults lives are becoming more dominated by the digital world.
“This can lead to all sorts of problems with wellbeing.
“It has got some advantages clearly but in terms of problems it can be anything from lack of sleep to online bullying to pressure on looks because the online world is very visual. These things are thought to be having a real impact on children’s well-being.
“I think that as families we haven’t yet got new social rules for the digital world.
“Parents didn’t grow up with social media and I think some of them are really struggling to know how to deal with it and how, as a family, they can deal healthily with social media. Many parents are anxious about how many hours their children are spending on social media. It is not just social media it is gaming as well.
“If you say the word ‘fortnite’ to parents of children of a certain age they will roll their eyes about how addicted their children are to it.
“They really worried about them getting enough exercise and enough sleep.”
Research has suggested that children aged five to 16 spend an average of six-and-a-half hours a day in front of a screen compared with around three hours in 1995.
According to the children’s commissioner, it is not just the amount of time spent looking at screens, but how this can change children’s assumptions and perceptions of the world around them.
She said: “When we say the digital world we are talking about social media, Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook of the most widely used social media by children. They are very visual and they operate on photographs. Obviously YouTube is also very popular and we know from surveys that anxiety about looks and body image are very high among adolescents particularly girls.
“We are seeing real issues with girls mental health and well-being in particular.”
It is not just the need to look good that is hitting Wales’ youth, there is a pressure to succeed academically as well.
“There is a whole other aspect as well which is the pressure to succeed,” said Prof Holland.
“There is a lot more pressure on the current generation to do well academically, to succeed in life and achieve life goals that weren’t there for my generation.
“When we say succeed it’s both your aesthetic appearance and in academic life. There is a pressure to look good, be slim, well-groomed and attractive. That is the predominant look on social media. But there is also a pressure to succeed in terms of academic success and careers as well.”
So what can be done about this? Well it is not just a case of confiscating phones or turning off the wifi.
According to Professor Holland parents behaviour needs adjusting as well.
“All these problems that we associate with children also apply to adults. As a society we need to try and tackle this. But we need to help children particularly because sometimes they need guidance in setting boundaries.
“But I don’t really think adults are currently being very good role models by the way they behave online and speak to each other online.
“Adults themselves are quite addicted to their phones. I have had children say to me but they are concerned about their parents use of social media and the impact that can have on family life.
“We need to support children, parents and the schools to learn these new relationships.
“That can include just having an agreement about: what is a healthy relationship? How many hours a day is healthy? Is it OK to have access to phones or tablets during school hours? Is it OK to be on them late at night or at mealtimes?
“I think that some parents really need some support in that. We might find schools, which have really embraced technology, now increasingly finding that they need to take a step back and say they want their children to be talking to each other a breakdown and playing outside.
“We want them to go back to human interaction and activity – it’s going to be one of the big challenges of the modern age.”
Waiting three years for counselling after being raped
Another challenge facing children in Wales is the simple lack of resources available to support them when they need it most.
In her annual report Prof Holland found that children who have been raped or sexually assaulted faced unacceptable waiting times for medical examinations and support.
According to New Pathways, the charity who run eight centres in Wales, including six Sexual Assault Referral Centres, there are more children than ever before coming forward for specialist support after sexual abuse, but there are long waiting lists in some areas.
They said:
150 counselling sessions are run each week for children and young people;
553 children and young people are waiting for a counselling appointment; and
waiting times vary from three months to three years in certain areas of Wales.
An example of the lack of resources is show at the sexual assault referral centres (SARCs).
They provide both immediate medical attention, delivered by suitably trained paediatricians and forensic medical examiners, to children who have been raped or sexually assaulted, as well as long-term counselling.
Currently only centres in Cardiff and Colwyn Bay are able to provide medical examinations of children, due to the lack of suitably qualified and experienced medical staff.
As a result, children are often made to wait or travel long distances to receive specialist examination and treatment immediately after an assault because of a lack of provision in their area.
An example of this is 17-year-old Megan’s (not her real name) below. This shows how a lack of support straight after an assault, can hinder a child for years.
A year ago I was raped whilst on a family holiday abroad. I think at the time that I was in complete shock; it didn’t seem real, so I didn’t tell anyone, and I just tried to push it to the back of my mind.
When we got home I couldn’t get it out of my head and I felt scared and anxious all the time. I didn’t want to go out. I pretended that I was ill so that I didn’t have to go to school, and I spent most of my time in my room.
Plucking up the courage to tell someone what had happened was really hard. I felt dirty and ashamed, and thought that nobody would believe me.
My parents were horrified and started blaming themselves for what had happened, even though there was nothing that they could have done. The whole situation in the house was awful; none of us were coping well and we couldn’t speak about it.
I was feeling suicidal, so my mum insisted that I went to see my GP, who then referred me to New Pathways for counselling.
Shortly afterwards we were contacted by New Pathways and I was told that unfortunately in my area there was a six-nine month waiting list to see a counsellor. Nine months felt like a lifetime away and I remember feeling absolutely devastated. My mum was also devastated, as she was trying to hold it together for both of us and she also needed help.
I honestly don’t know how I got through those months; I was definitely getting worse and I became even more withdrawn. I did receive a selfhelp book from New Pathways and they kept in contact with me, which helped a bit.
After eight months, when I eventually got an appointment letter I nearly didn’t go. The thought of talking about what happened made me feel panicky, and I didn’t want to leave my house, which was now the only place I felt safe.
Thankfully my mum put me in the car and made me go to my appointment. My counsellor was amazing and I immediately felt comfortable and safe with her. It took quite a while, but the counselling helped me to become “me” again and to stop blaming myself for what happened. I am not afraid anymore and things are much better
In a weird way the counselling has helped me to be more confident than I ever have been before, but if I could change anything it would be getting to see someone much sooner. When I eventually got an appointment after eight months I very nearly didn’t come. Another month later and I probably wouldn’t have come, and I might not be here today to talk about it.
A spokesman for the Welsh Government said: “No adult or child should have to wait for services following any incident of sexual violence. The care and needs of the victim should be paramount for all services.
“The provision of Forensic Medical Examiners is not devolved, but health boards work closely with the police and other partners to ensure the health care needs of the victim are met.
“Health boards fund counselling services and we have also commissioned a business case for the development of an all-Wales Traumatic Stress Service, which includes consideration of the provision of counselling to victims of sexual assault.”
Some children are more equal than others
Whereas social media and increasing mental health issues are modern issues – inequality is hydra that has plagued society, and particularly children, from time immemorial.
However that doesn’t mean the impact it has on children is any less devastating. In fact Prof Holland counts it as perhaps the biggest issues facing Welsh children.
“Inequality is particularly underpinned in Wales by poverty.
“When I’m explaining it to children, I say that none of us are born on a level playing field and some of you face more bumps, pitfalls and potholes but it’s a job of all of us around us adults to even out that playing field so you all have the same chance to be the best you can be.
“Children understand that and I really strongly believe that that’s an important thing that the Government and public sector should be trying to even out the playing field for children because we still have a really unequal society.
“In Wales we still have a really high levels of child poverty and that has an impact on every aspect of their lives. I think childhood poverty would come under that category we have had ups and downs with the levels of child poverty but it is still in my view far too high and the gap between rich and poor is far too great.
“It is something that in Wales we have found really hard to make significant shifts on.
“My concerns for the future in Wales is that we are going to see potentially really significant increase in child poverty in Wales because of changes to Universal Credit – it’s forecast to get worse.
“That really concerns me because it has an impact on a child’s everyday experience. It could be going to school having not been fed properly or not having decent shoes. It could be wearing dirty clothes because the washing machine is broken.
“This can have longer term items like they are not as likely to do well in school. It is a real issue that is a complex want to tackle because a lot of it comes from the UK Government but I strongly believe the Welsh Government should be putting as much resources as possible into tackling child poverty.”
So what need to happen? What can we do about it?
Anyone who says they have a simple answer to a complicated question is almost certainly lying.
However, Prof Holland believes there are some simple steps that could be taken that would make a really appreciable difference to the live of children in Wales.
These include public services that fit around children, not children fitting around public services.
“For disabled children and their parents it is an almost impossible task to access support. They are passed from pillar to post. This applies to mental hleath as well.
“I would bring children’s mental health services and children’s social services together so that when children need support and their feeling mentally unwell and when they’re feeling in need of help with their behaviour in emotions it’s all under one roof. That is not the case at the moment. Families have to navigate a really complex system.
“They wait on a list for mental health services and when they get to the top of the list though told that they don’t have a mental health problem after all and they need to go somewhere else where they get told that their problem is not bad enough for social services.”
“The vast majority of children aged four to 16 go to school so schools are a great place to do good work.
“Schools should be supported to be real sentence of excellent for well being. This is to make children feel safe and included.
“Rather than putting all eggs in one basket in terms of mental health and children’s mental health services we should actually bee helping schools to support children and that could be things like stress busting exercises like mindfulness right through to having support groups for children who are suffering from anxiety.”
Grants and fuel bill reduction
“I understand that the Welsh government budget is really tight but I wish they would squeeze every penny they could to give children a more equal playing field.
“They could support individual families living in poverty through things like grants, reducing their fuel bills etc and stop the closure of the services that are supporting them like youth clubs.”
Why should we be positive?
According to Prof Holland, there is an appetite in Wales for change when compared to elsewhere.
She said: “In Wales we have a real acceptance that children human rights are important. That’s by the Government, by all the political parties and public services.
They all believe in children’s right to grow up to be safe and have their voice heard. There is a real buzz about that in Wales and a real acceptance of it.
“It’s in our law and we have seen the results of that full stop reducing votes to 16 recognising that children have a place to play in in our society.
“Things like changing the role of physical punishment for children because they have the same rights as adults.
“This doesn’t mean we don’t have masses of challenges but I think it is quite easy to have conversations about children’s rights here.”