How you can teach yourself to be more of an optimist
OPTIMISM is about having a positive outlook or seeing the glass as “half full”, as the expression goes.
More optimistic people tend to feel more positive about themselves and the future and ultimately feel happier.
The good news is that optimism can be learned. If you have a tendency towards seeing the down side, try the ABCDE exercise below to cultivate a little more optimism in your life.
Bring to mind a situation that you are currently feeling pessimistic about. Perhaps the situation is making you feel anxious, sad or uncomfortable in some way.
■ A= Adversity: Describe what triggered your negative thoughts and feelings. Stick to the facts of the situation. (Eg. I texted my friend yesterday and she has not replied).
■ B= Beliefs: Write down the thoughts, assumptions, judgments and interpretations you are having about the situation. What is your inner voice saying?
(Eg. My friend is ignoring me, she doesn’t really like me).
■ C= Consequences: Write down the consequences of your beliefs. These could be thoughts, feelings, urges or actions.
(Eg. Worrying about having no
friends, increased feelings of sadness, shame and anxiety, drank alcohol to numb feelings).
■ D= Dispute: Write down all the evidence you can muster to challenge your negative thoughts. Are there other possible causes?
Is there another way of looking at this? How might I react to the situation if I was feeling happy right now? What would I say to a friend who was experiencing these thoughts and feelings?
Pessimism stems from beliefs that negative events are permanent, pervasive and personal.
Challenge yourself to come up with an evaluation that is temporary, specific and external.
(Eg. There are lots of possible reasons why my friend hasn’t replied yet. Maybe she’s busy. She does tend to take a while to reply what with her work, kids and being a bit forgetful! I know deep down that she likes me. We have fun together and she regularly invites me to do things with her. She’ll probably reply when she gets the chance).
■ E= Energisation or how being more optimistic led to new
consequences: Finally, write down the results of your more optimistic take on the situation. (Eg. Felt less anxious, got on with what I was doing, made a mental note to ring my friend tomorrow if I haven’t heard from her to check she’s OK).