‘It’s hard to face reality every day...’
Maximas Easey was suffering depression after injuring his leg, but his family and friends never realised the extent of it – until it was too late. Robert Dalling reports
It was just over a year ago that a phone call for one Swansea dad
changed his life forever.
Nick Easey received a frantic phone call from his daughter, Geor
She in turn had received a call from his son Maximas’ girlfriend, saying that she had returned to the flat they shared in Heol Morlais, Hendy, on February 12, 2018, to find he was nowhere to be seen.
There was also a worrying note on the table.
Phone calls were made to as many people as possible in the hope of finding the 21-year-old former pupil of Ysgol y Strade and Ysgol Gyfun Gwyr.
And the response was vast, with between 60 and 80 people turning out to help.
Mr Easey was there at the forefront, keeping positive that he would bring his son home safely.
“We were all up in Hendy, we had been looking for him, hoping he would be OK, assuming he had gone off and it was just a bit of a thing,” he recalled.
“The police were called in, with a search helicopter, and we knew it had come to a stop through the police radio chatter. We knew they had located Max.
“We didn’t know at that time he was in the state he was in. We just thought he was playing up. We just wanted to bring him home safely.”
It was shortly after that he received the news every parent dreads.
Mr Easey, of Birchgrove, Swansea, recalled: “The officer came by, called me and Max’s mum to one side and gave us the news.
“It was very hard, it just didn’t seem real. After that I was just stranded in an emotional sense. It takes up all your available brain space, you just don’t know what to do.
“You don’t think it’s real up until it is. As time goes on the worst started to creep into the back of my mind, but you hope in every possible sense it’s not the worst-case scenario.
“When the news came in it’s like a lightning bolt. You keep your hope right until the last possible moment.
“My body went completely numb and I was like that for the whole night.
“We got home and had to contact the whole family and that was harrowing. We wanted them to find out before it was posted on social media. It was a real scramble and we had to pull together when we had only just been told ourselves. It was extremely difficult.
“The following morning I had to formally identify him, which was awful, and the last time I saw him.”
In April there was a lantern memorial to remember Maximas. At the event his sister, Georgia, said: “He was not just my brother, he was my left arm.” There has also been a beer created by the Tomos Watkin brewery in his memory called Gladiator Ale, so called for Maximas’ nickname, which was sold by the Bryn Y Mor pub in Swansea, which he often visited.
An inquest was held into Maximas Easey’s death in April, with Carmarthenshire coroner Mark Layton reaching a conclusion of suicide.
Maximas, a highly rated young rugby player, was on medication for depression after having injured his leg playing the sport.
He had signed a semi-professional contract with Swansea RFC but moved to Hendy, where he joined Hendy RFC after becoming injured.
Maximas’ dad said at the time he did not know the extent of his son’s depression , and that to find out he was clinically depressed at the inquest was a shock to the entire family.
He added that he and his family hoped a change could be made to the medical system to allow GPs to release information to next of kin when someone is depressed, details which would normally be confidential.
Reflecting on the last year, Mr Easey said: “It’s been a really hard year, extremely tough. It’s hard to face reality every day, but as the time has been moving forward it’s been a case of getting used to a new reality.
“Remembering Max rather than seeing Max is a thing I’m having to adjust to.
“It has opened my eyes to the whole issue of suicide in young men. I was not aware of the scale and complexity of it all. I’ve spent time really looking into it and it has helped focus my mind.
“At the moment I am still getting evidence and looking at where the problems are before I commit to something significant. My ultimate aim is to do something charitable raising funds for young suicide prevention in the form of an endurance motorcycle event.
“With Max’s young friends I have got that position of time-served adult and I’m a point of contact for them all as I have that experience through Max.
“The one thing that the loss of Max has done has got everybody talking and brought it to the fore.
“Max was involved in a lot of groups in college and rugby, he was known across a lot of areas and it’s raised the subject for a lot of people.
“It’s difficult to see your son used to highlight it, but it is positive and encouraging, and hopefully there will be one less loss out of it as a result.”
On the anniversary of his death his friends met for a meal, while his sister organised a balloon release at the cemetery. Fireworks were also let off at the family home in his memory.
“Yesterday, and the week leading up to it, were quite stressful for the entire family,” Mr Easey said.
“We didn’t know what emotions it would bring back and how we would cope with them.”
But he added: “It has allowed everybody to come together.”
For confidential support, the Samaritans can be contacted free of charge, around the clock, 365 days a year, on 116 123.