Learn the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem
AS a psychologist, self-confidence and self-esteem are concepts I come across frequently. People are often described in the same breath as having “low confidence and selfesteem” and the terms may be used interchangeably, giving rise to the misconception that they refer to the same thing.
The origins of these words give us some clues about the differences between the two concepts. Confidence comes from the Latin “fidere” meaning to trust, while esteem is derived from “aestimare” meaning to value, determine the value of, or appraise.
When we talk about selfconfidence then, we are talking about the trust we have in our own abilities. Self-confidence is what academics call “domain specific” – it may apply to certain areas of life but not others. For example, someone may be confident in their ability to do a good job at work but have little confidence in their ability to maintain a romantic relationship.
Self-esteem is more pervasive. If you generally evaluate yourself in a positive light, see yourself as a worthwhile human being and believe you contribute to the world and others around you, then you have high self-esteem. Another way of understanding the difference between the two is by looking at an example of good self-confidence but poor self-esteem. Pop stars may have confidence in their ability to perform in front of huge audiences but have a very poor opinion of their own worth. In some cases, this can lead to destructive behaviours such as drug and alcohol abuse or even suicide.
It is easier to improve your selfconfidence than it is your selfesteem. We build confidence by being proactive – by stepping out of our comfort zones and practising the things we find difficult.
Slowly but surely our confidence grows as we make progress. We may never achieve perfection but part of self-confidence is recognising our ability to survive and recover from setbacks.
As self-esteem reflects the core beliefs we hold about ourselves it can be more difficult to improve but it is possible. If you are struggling with low self-esteem, talking to a therapist may help you to build the sense of value you see yourself as having in the world.