‘Coping with coronavirus must also bring us together like never before’
THERE are many moments I’ve shared with my Dad that are instantly committed to memory. Lovely moments I know I will recollect and cherish in the years to come.
But as we sat together on Thursday afternoon listening to a solemn Prime Minister devoid of his usual clownish touches, I knew this was a moment that would be seared into our memory through fear not fun. One we would rather forget but might never be able to.
Hailing the coronavirus threat as the worst public health crisis in a generation, Boris Johnson laid bare the severity of the situation.
My 87-year-old father was on the edge of his armchair, straining to hear every word uttered by the PM and his scientific sidekicks.
“It is going to spread further and I must level with the British public: many more families are going to lose loved ones before their time,” said Johnson.
It was a jaw-dropping opening and all the more disturbing for being a message not even Boris could soften with his customary bluff and bluster.
As the instructions unfolded and we were told that, while the virus cannot be halted, it was hoped cases can be delayed and spread out to enable the NHS to cope, one directive hit us particularly hard.
The elderly will be told to stay at home and avoid social contact for up to three months, explained Johnson. This measure might cut deaths in the most vulnerable group by a third.
I could see the anxiety in my father’s face as he processed this information. And for the first time I too felt afraid as I saw it through his eyes and got some sense of how terrifying the pandemic must feel to those most at risk.
Until this moment the coronavirus crisis had been a social media conversation about fake facts, Happy Birthday handwashing routines and the scourge of toilet paper looters.
Now it was real. Hitting home quite literally.
“Does this mean you’ll have to leave me on my own?” asked Dad. “No, of course not,” I said.
But my mind was racing. There is no way my frail father could be left entirely to fend for himself in the kind of solo elderly cocoon the experts were suggesting.
Between my two brothers and me, he is visited every day. There are tablets to be dispensed morning and evening, meals to be cooked, care to be given. And, of course, company to provide to alleviate the loneliness he has felt since losing my mother eight years ago. It is just unthinkable to leave him to self-isolate.
Yet it is also an awful thought to imagine we might put Dad at huge risk by unknowingly bringing the virus to him if we sustain our usual level of contact. It’s a horrible balancing act but one we must consider very carefully.
These are dilemmas being replicated in families across the UK and indeed the world. We appreciate we may be in a more fortunate than many.
Dad has family support. There are lots of elderly people living alone who may not have the back-up we can provide. When they are confined to their homes to ride out the storm of the pandemic’s predicted peak who will ensure they have enough food, let alone the psychological support they will need.
Wales is a nation that has always prided itself on its sense of community.
As a Rhondda native, it is certainly a notion that has been instilled in me from childhood and it has been heartening to witness the collective Valleys response to the flooding over the past few weeks.
Rhondda AM Leanne Wood said yesterday we should channel the same spirit into looking out for the most vulnerable among us as the coronavirus situation intensifies:
“The way our communities pulled together in the aftermath of the recent floods was inspirational to see. In what was an extremely difficult time, we saw the very best of people,” she said.
“We need to be organised. We may not be able to rely on public services, health services, social services, councils may not be able to keep an eye on everyone
“Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could have at least one person, even better a team of people in every street throughout the Rhondda finding out who is most at risk and gathering their phone numbers to keep in touch? Whether people are ill or not, lots of older people are going to sensibly choose to spend much more time at home.
“While some of us can order supplies online, many older people are not online. If we don’t do something, how will these people get food and other basics?”
Leanne concludes by asking for people’s thoughts on the logistics of doing this: “How can we as a community pull together to get organised on this? How can it best be done and how can we best do it safely?”
It’s a clarion call that should be extended across Wales. We should be all be thinking of how we can help those more at risk than ourselves.
In the coming weeks our diaries will empty of the usual clutter that keeps us busy on our fairly selfish social pathways.
As sporting and cultural events are cancelled, holidays abandoned, work and school routines disrupted, life will be stripped back to basics and our priorities will be reconfigured.
It must bring out the best in us, not the worst – a sense of altruism and responsibility to society at large rather than the bang the bell mentality of the sanitiser stock-piler.
If there is any positive to be taken from this most negative of scenarios it is the fact that we are all about to discover that there is only one thing that really matters in life – the health of our loved ones.
And the best way to protect those we love is to realise we are part of a wider family – a bigger community that must care for each if its members. Coronavirus will enforce isolation on us but if we are to get through the biggest health crisis of our age, coping with it must also bring us together like never before.