Home shouldn’t be a place of fear
LIVE FEAR FREE HELPLINE
HAVE you seen the Coronation Street storyline between Yasmeen and Geoff? It’s one of several TV programmes recently which have included scenes of domestic abuse.
It’s horrible to watch – but you might be shocked to find out that abusive, controlling behaviour like that is playing out right now, in a home near you.
Around one-in-four women, and one-in-six men, suffer from domestic abuse at some time in their lives. The coronavirus lockdown has made things a whole lot worse. Abusive partners don’t have to think about their behaviour while victims are confined to the house. Control can be tightened, and can become even more overwhelming.
Laura* (not her real name), is a survivor of domestic abuse. She’s been free for two years.
“I tried so hard to please my ex, but it was never good enough. He called me fat, useless, ugly, a waste of space. All the time. ‘You’re pathetic. You’re over-sensitive. There’s something wrong with you. You twist everything. You’re lying again. You can’t get anything right.’ On and on, over and over. After a while, you start to believe it, it grinds you down.
“I tried my best to be invisible. My heart used to pound like crazy when he walked in, I’d be gasping for breath, I felt sick. He used to laugh while he spat in my face, and dug his nails into my wrists. I had to wear shirts buttoned right up to my chin, or
The Live Fear Free helpline is a free 24/7 service for all victims and survivors of domestic abuse and sexual violence and those close to them, including family, friends and colleagues. It will remain open and offering a full service during the coronavirus emergency.
■ Helpline: 0808 8010 800
■ Text: 078600 77333
■ Live chat: gov.wales/live-fearfree/contact-live-fear-free
■ Silent support is available via text, web-chat and email, if victims aren’t able to speak.
I was accused of ‘trying it on.’ I wasn’t allowed to contact friends or my mum – they were a ‘bad influence’.
“After a while, there’s no fight left in you. You just exist, hoping that he won’t get drunk, as drunk often equals violent.”
The current Covid-19 lockdown has made things worse for victims of domestic abuse.
Children are bored, noisy, messy. Families are under one roof 24 hours a day.
Normal avenues of escape, like work and school, aren’t available. Tempers are fraying, abusers are taking advantage, and incidents of abuse are increasing.
Some countries have seen a 30% rise in calls to domestic abuse services during lockdown.
There’s no question that the current situation has increased the risk for victims.
But you are not alone. Helplines, like Welsh Government’s Live Fear Free support line, are available 24 hours a day.
Domestic abuse services and refuges are open. The police are responding to domestic abuse calls.
Everyone has the right to be safe. If you’re experiencing violence or abuse at home, support services and the police are available to help.
If you have to leave your home to escape domestic abuse, you won’t be fined or arrested.
If neighbours, postal workers, shop assistants or friends are concerned about someone it’s really important to call 999. Police will act.
Domestic abuse is real, and could be happening near you, but home shouldn’t be a place of fear. Look out for each other. You could save a life.