LATEST TWISTS WHEN TYING THE KNOT
Couples are having to readjust to new nuptial rules, says Philippa Juliet Meek
CORONAVIRUS well and truly scuppered so many weddings this summer, events families had looked forward to for years. Couples have had to wait months to find out when they can finally tie the knot, and now we finally have clarity about ceremonies during the pandemic.
Covid weddings will certainly be unlike anything people were planning for before – with no singing and parents not allowed to escort their children down the aisle.
Of course, many couples have postponed their ceremonies until next year, if they are lucky, or are embroiled in negotiations with venues or insurance companies if not. But not everyone wants to wait, and those who don’t will now be working out what the new wedding rules mean for them.
You might be forgiven for assuming we would have seen couples lining up to exchange rings following “super Saturday”, when weddings were allowed. Unfortunately, the legal rules for weddings in England and Wales means this won’t be the case in many circumstances.
I’m in the unique, and slightly strange, position of trying to plan my own wedding while also researching ceremonies as part of my academic work. Like many, my partner and I were hoping to get married this summer, but coronavirus has disrupted our plans.
We are planning a ceremony which takes account of the new restrictions – which include a limit of 30 attendees. We will have a handful of socially distanced guests at the ceremony and will hold a proper reception with family and friends at some point in the future.
While the focus in the media has been on the fact that weddings are now allowed, the reality is most people trying to start the process of getting married will have to wait at least a month for their ceremony.
Couples will still have to give notice, typically at their local register office, and wait a minimum of 29 days before getting married either in a religious or civil service. A religious minister or registrar will also need to be available on the day they wish to marry. This may cause a further delay.
Those who gave notice before lockdown will be able to get married quicker, but if they gave notice more than a year ago they’ll have to do this again to get married. If couples have changed the venue of their wedding, due to covid restricting the number of attendees allowed or because it is closed, they will have to give notice again. The date of the marriage can be changed, so those who were due to marry during lockdown but have delayed their wedding and are still within 12 months of giving notice will be fine.
Couples who want to marry in a church must have banns read in their parish for three Sundays before being able to get married, so they will no doubt be pleased churches are reopening. People must marry within three months of banns being read, so if their banns were read before lockdown they will need to be read again. During lockdown Church of England Special Licences have allowed couples who desperately needed to marry, for example in a deathbed situation, to have a legal ceremony. But people need to be baptised to apply for this.
People can apply for a Common Licence, sanctioned by a bishop, and this means the banns don’t have to be read, expediting the process. The other option is a Special Licence, issued by the Archbishop of Canterbury and allows couples to marry in churches which are not parish churches, for example a chapel in a school or university, or outside of a religious building, for example in a hospital. An application typically takes three to four weeks, this can be expedited in emergencies such as illness. My fiancé and I will go through this process to marry in a military chapel we have a special connection to because he is in the Armed Forces.
So this won’t be a summer of hen and stag dos and large receptions with singing and dancing. Couples will be grateful they can now legally marry and make this special commitment to each other. For some this will be enough. Perhaps the rules will change the way we celebrate weddings for ever. Others will continue to wait for their ceremony until people can meet in large groups again, no doubt to the relief of the many businesses in Devon and Cornwall who rely on weddings to operate.
My own wedding will be very different from what we imagined , but the story about why we had a small ceremony without singing and with no reception following it will certainly be one to tell for years to come. For us, the strange circumstances around our wedding will make it all the more special.
Philippa Juliet Meek is a University of Exeter researcher