Why can’t I find the marriage of my 4x great grandmother?

QI have been tracing my family tree now for 20 years and still have not been able to trace the roots of my 4x great grandmother, Mary Davis. The 1841 census and the 1861 reveal she was born in Leitrim in Ireland. She married James Davis of Avebury, Wiltshire, probably around 1819, as their first child was born in January 1820. Did they marry in Ireland? The only marriage I can find for a James Davis was in Trowbridge in 1821 to a Mary Pain. I have been to the record office to check for any other marriages through their transcripts, but have had no luck. Steve Arman, by email

AAs you have recognised yourself, the only remedy to establishing the identity of Mary Davis (born about 1802 in Co. Leitrim) is to discover her maiden surname. It doesn’t surprise me that you have found this an almost intractable problem. I will assume you have investigated all the likely sources for the marriage of James and Mary. I have several suggestions as to how you might establish Mary’s maiden surname. First of all, ensure you have thoroughly searched the Anglican, Protestant Dissenting and Catholic parish registers for Avebury for a wider period, say 1815-1845. Have you tried to obtain the civil record of any child born after July 1837? The certificate would show Mary’s maiden name. As you have no proof that Thomas is the first child, search the 1841 and subsequent census returns for others called Davis who might possibly be older children of James and Mary, particularly looking for any born in Ireland. Search the 1841 and subsequent census returns for Avebury for people (no names known) born in Ireland. You might find lurking there candidates for Mary’s parents and/or siblings. It may be worth establishing what workhouse records survive for Marlborough Union (into which Avebury fell) on the off-chance that if the Davis family were ever admitted, Mary’s home parish in Leitrim was recorded. They will be held at Wiltshire and Swindon Archives.

To my mind, it seems unlikely James might have met Mary in Ireland, though of course not impossible. Their eldest child known to you is Thomas, born in January 1820, when James would have been aged about 23. According to the census, James was an agricultural labourer born in Avebury about 1798. The only likely reason for a person of his social position to have been in Ireland would be as a soldier. Given this, it might just be worth investigating if a service record exists for him. Steven Smyrl