LETTERS
Your ideas, comments and advice
I was adopted as a baby. My new mum and dad were, as far as I was concerned, my parents. I knew about my adoption right from the start; to me it was the norm. I never had any hunger to find out more.
When my adoptive mum died, I began to wonder about my background and felt less uneasy about searching out my birth mother – or at least learning more. I felt no liberty to do this before simply out of loyalty and love for my adoptive mum, which I believe is the situation of many adoptees. It’s a tricky and sensitive area, and each of us in this position has to come to their own place of peace and timing.
I did make contact with my birth mother, but not face to face. I took no one’s advice on how to go about doing so, and I think I handled the process unwisely. Her story, and therefore mine, was not atypical and so when the contact came that she had feared, she pleaded with me not to take matters further because her current family had no knowledge of my birth and her circumstances. I gave her that assurance.
That was 30 years ago, and she has since died. However, with the relative ease in which information can be found online about personal family history, I chose years ago to explore my bloodline and heritage.
I have found out that I am Black Country through and through, and probably have coal dust in my blood. Generation upon generation of my ancestors were miners, and some did work in the chain- making industry. All had large families and most of them remained in the Dudley area of the West Midlands.
The joy of information found, coupled with social history, is both fascinating and helpful. I have been able to glean information from social media regarding living relatives. So although my journey, which still continues, may not have the happy ending that some crave, I am so much more informed about what was and who was before.
I choose to honour my promises to my birth mother, even though she is gone. And so this year I will be 70 and still a secret. Charles Steward ( adoptive name), by email Editor replies: Thanks for your letter Charles, I’m sure it will strike a chord with many people out there. Your hard-working ancestors from the Black Country helped to fuel Britain’s industrial heartland – and that’s definitely something anyone can be proud of.