Oh god, what an unholy mess

and majestic sweeping camera work, but it’s like trying to put a small plaster over a gaping wound.

Even the likes of 300 – much heralded for its special effects and filming style – was blessed with likeable characters whose fate you cared about and made for enjoyable popcorn fun.

Gods of Egypt takes itself far too seriously and instead of gleeful chest-beating and over-thetop swordplay we get furrowed brows, lame attempts to introduce weighty drama and an overabundance of selfish heroes.

Sticking with the 300 comparison, even though he finds himself on the opposite side of the good-versus-evil divide this time out, Butler gives an unintentionally hilarious performance with his Scottish brogue feeling much more out of place than it did in Zack Snyder’s ancient Greece-set smackdown.

Aussie Thwaites is an actor who has never done anything for me and he struggles with the pressure of leading the good guys’ fight. CosterWaldau tries his best but must have longed for a return to the safety of his Game of Thrones sets.

Even turkeys often lure acting heavyweights – old and new – and I hope Geoffrey Rush (Ra), Rufus Sewell (Urshu) and new Black Panther Chadwick Boseman (Thoth) got paid enough to make having this monstrous mess on their CVs worth the woe.

A disastrous dynamic of dodgy CGI and even dodgier storylines and acting sees Gods of Egypt become a prime contender for the year’s worst trip to the cinema.

It’ll take divine intervention for it to be knocked off its pedestal.