TIME TO TALK
Helping to build emotional resilience in our young people is one of the best gifts we can give.
As a consultant clinical psychologist, people often assume I have the answer on how to engage with a moody and distant young person. However, as a parent first and foremost, I’m well aware there is no magic formula. What I do believe is, helping to build emotional resilience in children and young people is one of the best life skills we can help them develop which will stand them in good stead throughout their life. The philosopher Confucius once said: “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” What he was saying was we all experience setbacks at points in our life and how we cope and move on from them is what makes us stronger, more resilient and ultimately happier. This applies to all of us – young and old, individually and collectively – as there is one guarantee from the moment we are born, that we will face challenging and tough moments at points in our life – it’s all part of living. While we often can’t control the events that impact on our lives, we can control how we deal with the anxiety or emotional stress that can come with an unexpected event. Just as muscles in our bodies become stronger when subjected to degrees of stress, so too can our emotional resilience be strengthened as a result of stressful experiences. There is strong evidence to suggest that avoiding what is feared heightens anxiety. So gently and progressively addressing and facing our fears can help improve our ability to cope effectively with the difficulties and challenges life throws at us. Parents, families and carers play a huge part in emotional development and adolescence is arguably the period when support is required most. It is a time when a young person is forming an identity and many will have questions or concerns about this; their sense of belonging – “Where do I fit in within my group/ family/ team”; esteem concerns – “what do others think of me? Am