GUTTED CARSON RETURN MISERY
Mental health battle amid return delay
Goalkeeper Trevor Carson has bravely opened up on his mental health battle during lockdown after the Covid-19 outbreak robbed him of a dream Motherwell return.
The 31-year-old had been on the verge of his first appearance for the Steelmen in over 18 months after a blood clot was found in his lung.
Boss Stephen Robinson revealed to Carson he would get his chance between the sticks against Kilmarnock in March – just days before the Premiership season was put on hold.
The Northern Ireland cap admits it has been hard to accept another blow as he hoped to raise awareness as part of the Tackle The Shutdown campaign.
He said: “It’s been that long since I’ve played and the manager had said to me that once we secured top six he was going to give me a chance, because obviously Mark [Gillespie] hadn’t signed his new contract.
“He was looking to next season a bit and he told me I was definitely going to get a couple of games.
“You wait that long for a game, I think it had been 18 months or something since my illness, and then this happens.
“It’s just my luck at times. It has been a massive disappointment.
“The manager pulled me in the week before the Aberdeen game. He had said to me about a month or so before that Friday game that when we had secured the top four he could afford to put me back in the team.
“He told me I wasn’t playing against Aberdeen because he didn’t think it was right to put me in for a game of that magnitude, but he would definitely look to use me the week after.
“He told me I had 10 days to get prepped, so in my mind there was a good chance of playing that following week.
“This coronavirus thing was sort of lingering in the background and I remember texting my missus straight away and saying there is a chance I’ll play next week. I said knowing my luck this will all be cancelled. She laughed and said surely my luck isn’t that bad, but lo and behold it was all called off.
“There are more important things in the world. People have lost loved ones, myself included, but you obviously have a bit of sympathy for yourself; it’s been tough.”
With the Premiership season concluded with
Motherwell finishing in third spot, Carson admits he fears for his teammates emotional wellbeing with several out of contract next month.
He said:“We [the players] speak every day in our WhatsApp group.
“The PFA are trying to help boys, for example, our skipper Peter Hartley has kids and a mortgage and his contract is up at the end of the month.
“Clubs won’t sign you because they don’t know when they’ll be back, but he still has to put food on the table.
“I’m so fortunate in that sense that I signed a contract in January; I can’t imagine what those boys are thinking.”
Despite admitting finding motivation has been a struggle, dad Carson feels some form of routine is important in the midst of the national crisis and said: “At times I’ve found myself falling into a lazy mindset fitness wise. You have the personal pride of keeping yourself in condition but you lose that edge.
“I’ve got a new routine now with looking after the little one, before I know it I look at the clock and it’s five o’clock.
“It’s so important to get up. I wake up some mornings and feel awful. I went for a 25 minute plod but I came back and it kicked me off for the rest of the day.
“I’ve had my mental health problems in the past and it definitely comes over me when I have too much time to think about stuff.
“Something to keep your mind active is so important.”