Being a lone parent does not mean being alone
Until the break-up of her marriage in December 2017, it didn’t hit home to mum-of-two Jackie that the stigma surrounding single parenthood still exists.
She quickly learned that being a single parent requires strength and resilience, no matter the circumstances.
But this year has seen single parents like Jackie tapping into reserves they didn’t know they had, with parenting solo and homeschooling at the same time.
Yet, through all the ups and downs of the pandemic, she and other single parents have continued to do the absolute best by their families.
When Jackie moved to Wishaw for a fresh start with her two boys, aged 13 and nine, she sensed that her new status as single mum attracted assumptions about her life and her aptitude as a parent.
“I think there is still a stigma and you’re quite often told just to get on with things,” said Jackie,
Single parents came together virtually this week to share their stories and those of someone they admire in celebration of Single Parents Day.
They were invited to recharge their #SingleParentStrength when One Parent Families Scotland joined forces with Gingerbread, Parenting NI and
43. “It can be quite isolating in as much as you can have friends but, if they are not in a similar situation, it is difficult for them to appreciate where you are coming from.
“At times, my ex-husband would work shifts. Then, I’d have said it myself, it was almost like being a single parent.
“They might not be there all the time, but you’ve still got that financial support and another parent backing you up.
“There are lots of different reasons why people are single parents – some through choice and some not.
“There are issues around separated parents, with questions around contact orders
One Family to recognise the incredible job single parents have been doing, especially during the challenging circumstances of the past 12 months.
As part of Sunday’s Single Parents Day, they shared inspirational stories about achievements in their own lives – during and before the pandemic – as
and things like that.
“My ex is down in England and is still allowed to see the children during lockdown, which I find quite crazy.”
The pandemic, she says, has posed particular challenges for single parents like her, who are unable to share with a partner the additional responsibilities of parenting during lockdown.
As well as the “joys” of homeschooling, she says there is a massive discrepancy between the support extended by her young son’s primary school and that provided by her elder son’s secondary.
“The primary school, which is back full-time, is wonderful. It has structure. But the secondary, well as how they have supported their children in realising their aspirations.
Here,Wishaw single parent Jackie shares the highs and lows of bringing uphertwoboys,andhowOneParent Families Scotland helped her to realise that being a lone parent need not mean being alone.
which has been a mixed bag, is only one day a week until Easter which, to me, is a bit pointless,” said Jackie. “I don’t see the benefit of one day a week. It’s minimal and they are not getting the social aspect of school.
“I am not saying the schools haven’t had it tough.
“It has been difficult for everybody, but I think it has been very tough on the kids.
“They have gone from karate and Scouts and swimming and school, to being stuck at home. I am fortunate to have a garden and outside space. I can’t imagine if you’ve not got that.”
Since getting in touch with One Parent Families Scotland when she moved north, Jackie says
she’s received invaluable support from the charity, which aims to enable single parent families to achieve their potential, to reach a decent standard of living and contribute to Scottish society.
The organisation offers a wealth of advice and information, as well as a new mental health and wellbeing service.
“They have asked what you need support with in terms of trying to get kids online, and they did check whether I had some kind of device for the kids to do their school work when we can’t get to the librar y,” explained Jackie, who during lockdown became a volunteer for Glasgow-based community interest company, No Feart, which educates and empowers people to move on from domestic abuse.
“They have supported other parents with that and have been doing weekly Zoom sessions, and there’s a two-hour hub where you can talk about mental health or finances, how you can get grants and financial help.”
O ne Parent Families also offers activity and craft packs to keep children occupied during lockdown, teaching them how to make everything from minestrone soup to bird feeders.
They also provide pre-loved clothing for children because, as Jackie put it, kids don’t stop growing just because we are in lockdown.
“One Parent Families in a really fantastic organisation that is very much needed,” she said.
The Lone Parent Helpline offers advice on everything from benefits and money, kids returning to school, and playing and learning at home, to tax credits, childcare, separation and child maintenance. Call the helpline on 0808 801 0323.