I will make some progress
IT’S an odd sounding phrase, used in the house of commons to prevent interruptions. Yes, it’s been a “political week”, “interesting” even.
So, hold on to your hat(s) of whatever colour, here’s one provincial’s impressions of a day in parliament.
Wear the fox hat?
In this case, it wasn’t fox fur, fake fur or any other sort of fur. It was blue and it had gold coloured buttons. Nothing was going to interrupt the Queen’s day at the races.
Due to the conclusively inconclusive election, the Queen’s speech was short, more interesting for what was omitted than included, a summary of what “my government” will be doing in the coming year.
Meanwhile the PM’s negotiations with the Green’s “dinosaurs” was continuing. But we wouldn’t know the outcome for a while.
Goodbye to all that
Back to that hat for a moment. The Queen has very little choice in the content of the speech, usually she delivers it while wearing “ceremonial dress”, ermine, silk, crown jewels etc.
But we were off to the races, so full ceremonials had been replaced with a perfectly matching blue outfit with gold buttons on the hat.
Artists might observe the colours weren’t a perfect match for the EU flag. Accountants would say there weren’t 12 buttons either. Humourists? Well, you can can use your imagination.
As Parliament’s job is going to be largely, mainly or partly based on our exiting the European Union, it might be a regal reminder of what we’re about.
The Show must go on
And on and on it went. The debate began at 2.30pm and went on ’til bedtime (or ‘time for a quick one’?)
There were five main speeches. The leader of the opposition, the PM, the leader of the third and fourth largest parties and the father of the house.
Who? No I didn’t quite get it either, but it’s traditional to have the MP with the longest continuous service be called the father of the house. Even if he hasn’t.
Chuntering and Gesticulating
If you’ve never watched Parliament, it isn’t exactly prime time viewing. But if you’ve ever watched a cricket match you’ll at least understand the pace.
Quick it isn’t.
But there are compensations – occasionally jokes, but these don’t compare well with stand-up comedy, although to speak you must be standing.
Apparently it’s “most unparliamentary to be chuntering or gesticulating while sedentary”. (Translation: no talking or hand gestures while seated).
Utterly mystifying, as they all do it frequently.
Anyhow, back to the jokes. These gather pace gently then lumber along to the punchline which has been visible for ages. Trying to give you an example would be inappropriate.
Also, unfair to the jokes, many of whom were speaking at the time.
Local boy makes good
Apart from the main speeches, there were 25 others. But that’s not what really strikes the average observer.
It’s the interventions (MP speak for polite interruptions) – all 93 of them which, sad to say, I counted. But there’s news!
Amongst those 93, the Member for Wokingham made easily the highest number, nearly twice that of his nearest rival.
And his interventions were on point and well aimed.
The clarification he offered the Father of the House was because Mr Clarke appeared to have forgotten what it was to “novate” a contract.
Perhaps as a former Chancellor of the Exchequer he’d been advised it was a missed opportunity to levy Value Added Tax.
A while later in his own speech, Mr Redwood pointed out that the electorate hadn’t given any of the parties the results they’d wanted. This was a breath of political fresh air, dispelling some of the hot air from earlier.
In High Esteem?
Two weeks ago, this paper suggested that the country needs a GNU.
This week, our senior politicians recognised that “the country is divided, red versus blue; young versus old; leave versus remain”.
On Sunday, there was a call for cross-party unity on regions, social groups, faiths and generations issued by the most reverend Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury.
We need to find a new form of leadership to rebuild a nation that events, politicians and the media have divided.
Or by our inaction give a clear opportunity for a British Monsieur Macron to create an alternative.
For if the parties don’t hang together, at the next election they’ll be hung again.